Grand Theft Autumn
by duckysgal1025
Summary: Joey,Pacey and Jen embark on what becomes a life changing journey. But it all begins with what was going to be a simple roadtrip.
1. Grand Theft Autumn

_There are journey's in life. Paths. Paths you will take, some you won't. Few you will like, most you will not. You must know that in the end, they are all worth it, my dearest, they are all worth it. My mother told me that once before she passed, but I never took it too seriously. I know better now, and it could never be more true. I'm thankful for the path I've chosen to take Jo, because it led me to you and Bessie. No matter the problems me and your father are having, they could never come between us three. You, me, and Bess. Together we're unstoppable, you know that. I'd bet we'd be just as strong apart, or we'll or learn to be. Either way you have to always remember to live life to it's fullest, and no matter what happens... knowing you, you'll never be alone._

My mother's words entrance my thoughts. They gradually sail from within my mind, readily to my heart. The heart has to make deeper but not always wiser desicions, and this reality makes things much harder to decide. I find though, there's no need to analize. I'll go with what my heart tells me, or at least what treasures it tries to hide. Deeply, I feel things that no one will ever know or more sadly care for. There's no magic wand or key to unlock what's within the deepest layers of my heart, yet there isn't really a reason for either of those things. A simple minor penetration of another, someone I love and trust, and who will love me back can know all of me. Most of my life I've let my fears and Insecurities resonate easily inside myself. Only in my sexuality, if there's any, do I find myelf in constant battles with...me. Once accepting myself for being so-called what I am with a shrug no longer sits well. What am I? Who am I? Who am I as an indivisual without the few that I know and love. I wonder.

My wonderment begins with a walk up the stairs and into my room, which I haven't been in for what seems like an eternity. I've been portraying the twenty-four hour woman in my most recent role as the head of the household. With Bodie gone, and Bessie's recent case of Mono, I've been deamed bread winner for the past three days. With hours on in of working and school, I've hardly been able to talk or curse at anyone but myself. One small relief is Alexander being safe and sound with Bodie's relatives, so he won't get sick. I on the other hand, must stay within three feet of my sleepaway, bed-ridden sister. Today I'm supposed to find a somehow "missing" worker who's been abscent the past couple of days, only making the load heavier. Apparently he had to go home early thanks to the emergency of his "grandma having a stroke". Now under the guidence of Bessie, I'm supposed to go to his house later on, give him the third degree, and/or beg him to come back to work because ha "I need him". I'd never thought of myself as a particularly proud person, but I now know--I am. I'm not begging him, It's his job. As far as I'm concerned, he's fired.

These days, besides working my ass off, holding the future of someone's career in my hands, while in the midst of an introspective change of view on my indivisual indentity, I can't seem to scrounge up much hope for what lies ahead in any of my 'paths'. In my room, I sit on the floor I just cleaned as the radio plays what seems like a thousand commercials. My legs sprawl across the floor, as my feet brush the wall that stands not to far from my bed for the fifth time, while I maneuver myself in a more comfortable postision pressing my back further against the bed. After sitting here so long reading one of the last notes my mother left me over and over again my soul searcing comes to an end. Grief begins to surpass self curiosity as a tear falls to the page.

Strength intervenes as I clumsily stand and wipe the tears away, pulling back the folded clothes and placing it at the very bottom. I walk away after closing the drawer avoiding any thoughts of her. I can't help but wish sometime she was here to say those words to me personally and not through ink, but of course, wishes don't come true. They re-invent themselves but they never come true. Her words begin captivate my thoughts again. Why do they seem to indicate some secret meaning. One that I keep translating to love rather than just life in general. I don't guess living life to its fullest have to involve a boy, but that's all I keep thinking about. Really living, love, and sex. But right now...I just want to live. Outside the walls of Capeside. Get away. Far away. Or...maybe I'll just sleep on it.

My heart raced as I rushed to the heavy doors. Shoving my way inside the overtly cold building, I found myself running and sliding down the narrow empty hallways. Slowing down, I started walking down the final hall that led to my fifth-period class, where any other day I would usually be, If for the first time in my life I hadn't overslept. Even by Pacey's standards of late when It came to school, he only paled in comparison. My heart went back to a slow and steady beat as I calmed myself before walking into the class room. "You're late Ms. Potter." He said obviously pissed.

"I can explain--" I gritted out unprepared for an actual explanation, since I didn't really have one.

"Don't. Sit."

Sit? I angrily questioned silently.

"Yes, sir." I replied sharply.

"Since the class is almost over, you won't be sitting in on much Miss Potter. I highly reccomend being on time next time understand?"He said only as a condecending adult would.

"Yes, sir." I replied again, more defeated.

He gave an assuring smile, then turned to the board to write something out. A few people were still throwing me glances and snickering. My minor humiliation wasn't well hidden as I just sank in my seat, praying for the next bell. Then..."Joey...Joeyyy!"A voice whispered piercingly. It was none other than Pacey Witter. The very reason I wake up in the morning. I sighed, rolled my eyes and tried to ignore him. There was no way I felt like talking. "Jo!" He whispered loudly.

"Mr. Witter!" The teacher exclaimed. Pacey just rolled his eyes and mouthed 'sorry' sardonically.

Thankfully he just turned around and continued to write on the blackboard, the now obvious future assignments. My head began to ache at just the sight more more work. Suddenly I heard some keys jingle. Everone turned there heads to see where the jingling was coming from, as did I. It was none other than Pacey. "Joey!" He mouthed even though I was looking dead at him.

"What?" I mouthed with a scowl.

He then held up some keys and began shaking them. With a smile he pointed outside, then the keys. "Huh?" I whispered.

"You'll see." He said plainly, while grinning. "You'll see." He said looking ahead this time.

While I was still agitated by his choosing to be so vague, a surprising surge of exitment passed through my body. What was he going to do?


	2. Fear Of Flying

**Fear of flying**

**T**he final bell rang, and for the first time since I left this morning freedom was back in my reach. For the next hour, I have absolutely no major responsibility besides getting back to the B&B in time to let in the guests. With this temporary freedom, being all of thirty minutes including the walk home, I decided to go somewhere that I haven't been in a really long time. A place where no one was allowed. where the small amount of independence I did have, thrived. This was before Dawson, before Pacey. Back when I was the worlds loneliest seven year old. For my own peace of mind, there was no where to go but here. The note also made me think of here. My mother and I walked over this bridge only once on a trip to the doctors office. It was a beautiful day, and turned into a beautiful sunset. As the sun went down, she put her hand on my shoulder, as we stopped short at the end of the bridge to admire the vision. She smiled, and we continued on.

A week later I found myself there all the time whenever there were fights at home. They gradually began to increase. My father the philanderer was not on my good side, so I avoided him at all costs. My mother stopped leaving the house as much, and taking me and Bessie different places. Things would never be the same. Meanwhile I would come here always, waiting for the day when I could balance myself on that bridge wall and fly away. Back then those sort of things were possible. By nine I decided that it was hopeless and impossible. For all the dissapointments in my life at that time, this one crushed me. Alas, I would never fly. By nine in a half I was a full on cynic.

I came here for the last time in early autumn, two days before I started fourth grade. No particular reason, just cause. I leaned over the edge, while looking over the water. I shivered helplessly as the wind blew freely but softly. Then...there he was. He just stood there, his hands deep within his coat pockets. His messy brown hair swayed along with the wind. I bit my lip nervously awaiting the words to form. I was painfully shy then, and hoped he would notice me and say something first. No luck. He just stared at the water somberly. Only feet away, I decided to end the distance between us. Finally working up the nerve I walked over to him.

Afterall, he did look about my age, and was well... cute. Since I was starting school soon, I wanted to over-come my anxiety. He was to be my first experiment. "h--hi" I said my voice cracking much to my embarrasment. "Hey." He said with a flash of smile. It quickly faded, as his eyes trailed over the water. "Are you gonna jump?" I asked with more animation. "Nah..." He began, then smiled again. "Why are you?" He added humoressly. A silence withstood, as we finally made complete eye-contact. "I've never seen you here." I said. " That's probly cause I've never been here." He said nodding. For some reason I started nodding too. "Oh..." "What's your name?"He asked interrupting me. "Joey."I said hesitantly, knowing what he would say next. "Hmm...like Josephine?" "Yeah." I replied amused. He was the first boy to ask me that without saying 'But that's a boy name'. He seemed so mature then. "What's yours?" I asked confidently , I had actually started a conversation. "Pacey." He said holding his hand out.

"Joey-don't-ever-call-me-Josephine-Potter." I replied with a silent pat on the back for my cleverness after shaking his hand. Then, His older brother came storming up. "Pacey Witter, if you don't get your sorry excuse for a ten-year old self in the car, I'm gonna pummel you beyond your own recognition."He said motioning to the direction he came from. "What? What the hell does pummel mean?" He asked faking confusion before cracking a smile. "Let's go smartass."He said pulling on his coat. "Have you met my brother dougie?" He asked sarcastically. "Let's go!" Doug exclaimed pulling him on. "Bye." I whispered sadly. "I'm telling mom you said hell." Was the last thing I heard before they dissapeared in the distance. But, that wouldn't be the last time I'd see Pacey Witter.

Now, here I stand. The thirty year old bridge still stands the test of time, and holds some of my more precious memories. Yet, now instead of my first thought being of the day my mother and I crossed it at sunset, I think of Pacey. He seemed a little different then. Like, I don't know...different. But of course, he just grew up to be a major pain in my side, and just another hormonally driven teenage boy. Kind of a shame, since he was the first boy I really liked. Before Dawson at least. I met Dawson after my first day of school. I got home and my mother said we were going to Gail's. I thought, 'who the hell is gail'. Pacey had already rubbed off on me. What a coincidence it turned out to be. Later I would find out--they were best friends.

"Hey, Potter." He says lighthearted.

"Hey--hey, Pacey." I reply surprised, I didn't think he still came here.

"I figured I'd find you here."

"Really, how?"I ask with light suspicion.

" Well, you were no where else so..."

"What do you want?" I ask looking at my watch. It's now time to go.

"Don't be hostile. I wanted to ask you this earlier at school, but you kind of left before I could."He explains..

"Oh, right. Why were you shaking those keys at me?"

"Well I borrowed my fathers patrol car."

"Borrowed?" I ask accusingly.

"Now, Josephine..."

Cringe.

"Don't call me--"

"I know, I know." He sighs. "Joey."

"Thank you."

"Joey" He begins agitated. I just smile.

"Yes?"

"I borrwoed my pops patrol car, and was wondering if you wanted to join me on a little adventure."

"What kind of adventure?"

"Woman have you ever heard of a little thing called 'impulse'?"

"No." I retort dryly.

"Okay, lemme put it to you this way. I'm leaving Capeside and I was wondering if you wanted to come with"

I could feel my face drop..

"Today?"

""Yes today--"

"Why?" I ask. This is bothering me more than I would like. Many questions flew through my mind.

"I'll tell you later..." He said, sadness hiding behind the surface of his exitment. "Come on."

"I can't."I said lifting my shoulders with a slow shrug.

"Right." He said nodding. "Listen, I just thought that we had become sort of friends, and you wouldn't mind or anything but--"

"Pacey we are friends." His hardened expression became soft. I can't help but smile at this."But Bessie's sick, I have somebody to fire, and who's gonna take care of the B&B?"

"Say no more." He says with a dry chuckle as he looks away.

I pause before I speak again."Besides, you don't want me to come with you. I'd just find some way to piss you off, or...something." I ramble off.

"True."

He laughs, before he turns and walks away. I try to focus my attention on the sun as it doesn't seem to shine as bright as it had before. Giving my watch another look, I gasp a little. I should've already been on my way home by now.

"Is she coming?" I hear a girl whisper, as I make my way off the bridge, onto a path that leads to an open street. Once I get to the street, I see Pacey getting ready to get in the car.

"Is who coming?" I ask approaching..

"Joey..." She exlaims sticking her head out the window. "Are you coming or not?"

Pacey just looked at me with an unmistakable seriousness. Rasing a brow, he motioned to the car.

"Come with me." He said staring so intently, I felt a heavy gravity within my body, changing whatever breathing pattern I was accustomed to. It was something about the way he said it. Those words meant much more than he was letting on. Even he knew it.

"We...are you?" She asks. The girl was none other than Jen Lindley. What was she doing here?

Thanx Joeyandpacey, and of course you Meli :) for readin and reviewin this here story :) Iappreciate it muchly.


	3. The road not taken

My heart thumped furiously within my chest, as I stared robotically out the window. Fear somberly replaced the numbeness I'd felt ever since we pulled off. Without any particular thought, or agreeing with them, I hesitantly got into the beautiful red car. If not Pacey's prodding, or just the sake of my own curiousity, I still would've liked to ride in this one. Where did he get this? I'd wondered when I first got in. Now, I wonder what I'm going to say to him.

"Joey?" He asks barely over the radio.

I sigh.

"What, Pacey?" I ask, as the thumps grow softer.

"You, Okay? I mean, you haven't said anything since we left."

"I'm, um--I'm fine." I say with a purposefully weak smile. Hopefully he will see my uncomfort and offer to drive me home. I need a lifeline. Something to stop me from making this monumental mistake. Someone should tell me that escaping from my problems, won't make them go away.

"Are you sure?" She asks looking over her shoulder. I slide closer to the window, so I won't be in her vision.

"Yeah." I say dryly, no longer sure of who I'm more upset with. Her, or myself for being so angry at her. Recently, or more or less since she moved here, I haven't been my kindest. But first trying to seduce Dawson, than Pacey, just bugs me to no end. Though, I can't really think of any other reason why I don't like her. Maybe if I go along with this little adventure, I'll either find out, or gain a friend.

"Just, checking."She replies wearily, responding to my negative tone.

"Where are we going? And where did you get this car?" I finally ask.

"Mexico." He says quickly.

"Mexico?" I ask doubtfully.

"Yes, Mexico." He says turning the radio down.

"And, why Mexico?" I ask confused.

"Because..."

"Because?"

"Because, I've always wanted to go to Mexico. That's why."He replies unconvicingly.

"What about you Jen? Mexico your fantasy vacation?"

"Not, exactly. Look, he asked me to come, so I agreed. Besides we're only going to be gone for two days tops." She responds with a slight shrug, then returns to her staring match with the window.

"Uh-huh." I say nodding, beginning to catch on to the underlying themes of this sudden adventure. "So what are you running away from this time Pace?" I ask with no intentional humor, but there may have been a hint in my voice.

"I'm not the runner here Potter, that's your sport remember?"He says concentrating on the road.

My heart drops at this statement, though I hate that it did. I hate that it got to me.

"Oh, really Pacey? So what's with the sudden road-trip? Why ask me and Jen to tag along?"

All I could see was Jen's profile looking at him questioningly. They look into each others eyes, before Pacey turns his attention back to the road. Jen nods as if a new understanding has just been transcended between them. Why are they doing that? I wonder. Why are they passing secret messages to each other, without letting me in on the secret? For once in a long time, I don't feel like I can reach him. A sadness surrounds him, and bleeds out of him, with no apparent knowledge to anyone-- or at least me-- as to why.

"What's going on Pacey?" I ask hoping for a straight answer.

Finally he pulls over to the side of the rode.

"Me and my father had another a fight." He says squeezing the steering weel.

A chill goes down my spine as I await for the full answer.

"And...what else happened?" I ask treading on already troubled waters.

"He's in the hospital." Jen finishes.

"Why?" I ask swallowing hard.

"I um--I accidently--I accidently"

"What? What did you do Pacey?" I ask fearfully.

"I--I--" He stutters out before bursting into laughter. Jen looks over her shoulder at me smiling guiltily.

"I'm sorry Joey" She says laughing, not sounding very apollegetic. "It was too easy." She says still chuckling. Again, feeling excluded I folded my arms tightly searching for a reply to the idiotic joke.

"I'm not the only one who's 'easy'." I whisper harshly hoping she heard. She did. Swiftly turning around to face me again, her eyes looked over me hurtfully.

"You know what Joey--?"She begins, as I hold my breath ready for the blow. " I'm so sick and tired of your snide remarks, back-handed insults, oh--and I think your all and out continuous attempts to perfect the art of bitchiness deserves an honerable mention."

Anger gradually rises making my whole body hot. There is no come-back good enough. I would rather solve the situation with my hand, but it wouldn't solve anything. Finally I decide to just sit back in my seat and stare out the window. The only words they'll here from me will be these:

"I want to go home. I have work to do." I say plainly eyeing Pacey, waiting for his reaction.

"Listen, Joey--" He tries softly.

"Today." I say brushing him off.

We pull into the yard, as my attention goes to Bessie who's standing outside, arms folded, with a scolding expression. I exhale, then apprehensively climb out of the car. Pacey jumps out, and proceeds around the front of the car making his way over to me.

"Are you sure you want to stay, Jo?" He asks as if concerned for my saftey. "I mean, this could be the best thing--"

"Pace...I'll take a raincheck. We have forever to go on a roadtrip." I say nudging him. "Besides I have so much to do here."

"I know...I know." He said, dissapointment in that last 'know'.

"And I'm not going anywhere with her." I say shooting a quick death stare at Jen, who was purposely ignoring it.

"Come on Jo. Even you know when to bury the hatchet."

"Bury the hatchet? I ask sardonically.

"Yeah, you know be the bigger man. Which by the way shouldn't be too hard." He says winking.

"Whatever." I say with an exasperated sigh. "Well, back to reality."

"Yep." He says looking right through me.

"It was fun."

"What, was?"

"The idea. Running away. Escaping...even just for a moment." I say smiling at the thought, shamefully looking at the ground.

"Hey" He says cupping my chin. "Next time, remember?"

"Next time." I agree half smiling. The crumbling common ground between us, was beginning to re-build itself. Now I was smiling at something else. He really was-- Is a really good...friend.

"Nice car!" Bessie shouted, motioning for me to come in the house. "Where have you been!"

"Just a minute."I say looking back at Pacey then Jen. "Tell her I'm sorry."I say starting to walk away.

"Sure thing, Miss Josephine." He says much to my aggrivation, as he gets back in the car.

"Bye." I mouth waving to him, then Jen. Jen just looks at me coldly. Pacey says something to her, and she turns to me and waves back smiling subtley. Guess he told her of my apology.

"Where were you?" Bessie asks walking up to me before I could get to the door.

"Nowhere." I respond indecisively.

"Not good enough. I had to carry my very ill self--"

"You don't look ill." I say noticing her gain of health.

"Well...I'm feeling a little better. But I had to fire Gary all by myself, thanks to you. Not to mention it's been a busy day."

"I know, I'm sorry alright. I have a life too you know." I say walking into the living room.

"Too?" She asks, the fake shock indicating she doesn't have a life.

"You're hilarious." I say sitting down on the couch, placing my head in my hands. Maybe I should have went with them.

"Hey--Listen I didn't mean to come down on you so hard. Are you okay?"

"Peachy." I say jumping up. I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Not so fast. You'll take up all the hot water from the guests. Wait 'till morning." She says walking away before I could retort such an order.

"Great...Just great."

"Oh, I meant to ask" She says walking back into the room. "Where did Pacey get that car?"

I try to answer, but realize-- I never got the answer to that very question.

This has been a pretty slow start, but I'm gettin the party started on the next chapter. Thanks for the reviews, and Meli I would love to join the campfire:)


	4. Uneasy Rider

The clock continues to tick, tick, tick. My eyes dart to it, for the tenth time since it hit two-thirty.

Social studies has never been so boring. Well...not as undistracting at least. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat for the last time. Ten minutes more in the class, is too much. I have to get out of here.

"Um, Joey?" The teacher asks, her question barely reaching my ears as I remain lost in the mists of my own thoughts.

"Joey!"

"Yes!"I ask, my head turning faster than the demon child in exorcist.

"Wake up!" She exclaims. "I happen to be running a class here, care to keep up?" Oohs and ahhs could be heard throught the audience.

I just gradually nod.

"Thank you." She says beginning to read a passage from a book she'd previously been reading without my attention.

I could feel the pressure of his eyes upon me. He's probably looking at me with a questioning glare. Slowly my eyes travel across the room, revealing him in my vision. His expression is questioning, just as I'd assumed. I just shrug playfully, as if I'd found some humor in the situation.

The bail finally rings, ending my grievious stay in the class. I rise, throwing my backpack over my shoulder as I make my leave. Outside the class Dawson stands waiting for me against the wall. Apprently he was in a rush to leave the holding cell as well.

"Joey."

"Dawson." I say beginning to walk ahead uneasily.

"Listen..."He begins.

"Dawson, I'm fine."I say assuming he was ready to comment on my absent behavior.

"Good." He says with a sigh of relief, for once he hadn't read my mind. If he had, he'd know I was lying through my teeth. "But that's not all I wanted to ask."

"Well, what is it?" I ask stopping in my tracks.

"Have you seen Pacey?" He asks quizically, looking around the halls as if his statement was going make Pacey suddenly appear.

"Um--no. Not since yesterday." I say tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Hmm..." He says in thought. "You know, I haven't seen Jen either.You think there're up to their old tricks again?"He says with a small laugh.

"Old tricks Dawson? I don't think so." I say with an exaggertaed laugh.

"Well, I went to Jen's earlier--before I left for school, and Grams said she went to go visit her mother, which I find highly unlikely."

"You never know Dawson, maybe her mother realized what a mistake she made, and wants the 'bombshell' back."

"Hmm. Or...something strange is going on. I'm telling you Jo, there has been a complete shift in the universe."

"Well, when's the last time you talked Pacey?" I ask curiously. Maybe Pacey let him know what was wrong with him. Or where he got the car. But his confused expression indicated something else.

"The day before yesterday. I was out yesterday, or hadn't you noticed?"He asks faking suspicion.

"Oh. Well, what did you two talk about?" I ask walking up to the entrance of my last class.

"Nothing much." He says shrugging.

"Oh." I say dissapointed.

"What about you, have you talked to him today or...?"

"Nope. No, I can't say I have."I say possibly withholding some key information. "Have you been to his house?"

"No, I haven't been to his house in months."

I just nod.

"Well, I have to get to class. Tell me if you get some updates." He says walking off.

"Wait, Dawson!" I shout louder than I'd hoped, grabbing some unwanted attention from the studentbody.

"Yes?" He asks matching my tone with a sigh.

"Umm.." I begin, as I walk over to where he stands. "Pacey...and Jen, they're uh--they're gone."

"I thought we already established that."

"No, they um, they left. I mean really left." I say emphasizing.

"Together?" He asks.

"Yes, together. They went to Mexico, and asked me to come with them."

"What--why?"

"Why they asked me to come with them--"

"No, why they went to Mexico."He says a little put off at the idea.

"I have, no idea. I mean, I've been wondering that myself."

"Why didn't you go with them?" He asks after searching his thoughts for answers.

"Well, I was--"

"You, were?"He asks in disbelief.

"Yes...but I decided not to. Hello? Bessie."

"Yeah I know...I mean, I'm glad you didn't."He says looking at the floor, the obvious implied.

I just nod.

"I just...I wonder why they did it." He says, his voice trailing off. He says something else, but my attention escapes once again. Something inside me clicks, as I scan the inside of the classroom. The students begin pouring in as the teacher searches through a mass of papers and books. Probably for a lost pop quiz test or something. The same impatients I was having in social studies, begin to dominate my emotions, as I slowly head away from the class. Passing student by student, I find myself at the exit. After a much needed exhale, I finally push through the doors, ending my stay at Capeside High...for the day at least. Or maybe, If I can find Pacey and Jen...longer.

I make my way into the house quietly, hoping not to disturb any guests that may still remain from last night. The truck is gone, so I'm assuming Bessie is too. Which is good, since I'm hoping to make my leave without her knowledge of me doing so. There are no thoughts floating through my mind now. I want to leave without any questions or analization, which for me is virtually impossible. But I hold up pretty well, as I make my way upstairs to get some things. It's only a couple of days right? What's that going to hurt. Well...if I find them that is.

Finally making it to my room, I go straight for my dresser to pack some clothes. Hurridley, I rush to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush...and toothpaste of course, then I run back to the bed and place them beside my clothes. Scanning the room for a duffle bag, I see one in the corner from when I'd cleaned out my closet a few days ago. I must have left it out. Quickly I grab it as if my life depended on it, as I glance swiftly out the window, before walking back over to the bed.

Back to the bed, I place the duffle bag in the center and begin stuffing things in the bag. By the time I get to the toothbrush I'm lost.

"What are you doing?" I ask myself plopping down on the bed. "What are you--?" I ask with a sigh as I rub my eyes. Slowly I turn back around, and begin taking things out of the bag.

(Honk)

My ears perk up as I hear a car honk coming from outside.

(Honk)

I here again, as I walk over to the window.

"Hey, Potter!" He yells leaning on the mystery car. Words can not descibe the exitement that rushed over me, as soon as I heard his voice.

"This is the last time I'm gonna offer!"He shouts.

I find myself actually giggleing...giggleing. He smiles wildly at this.

"Yeah...Potter!" Jen shouts obviously hesitant to call me Potter. "We get all the way to the border, and he decides to make a sudden u-turn!" She shouts giving him the evil eye.

"And...?" He asks challenging her. "Listen, I said it wouldn't be a party without our own Joey Potter there to...tell us if we're using the map incorrectly." He jokes. I give a dry laugh.

"Well, if that's all you need me for." I say teasing.

"Of course that's not all I need you for." He says baiting me.

"I?" I ask.

"Okay, Okay! God!" Jen says quickly looking up at the sky, as if god was going to srike her down. "I mean uh--, look, you two can flirt once we get back on the road."She says ducking back in the car.

"Jealous?" Pacey asks raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up." She chuckles.

"Alright." I say hesitantly. "I'll be right down." I say shoving the things back in the bag, zipping it up, rushing out of the room, down the stairs I go, then I run out the door. I lock up, then run over to the car.

"Alright!" They both yell in unison.

"Yeah, yeah." I say wryly.

"Give me that." Jen says grabbing my bag and putting it in the trunk.

"Thanks." I say quietly.

"Alright lets rock and roll ladies." Pacey says starting the engine.

"Rock and roll?" Both Jen and I ask. Pacey just rolls his eyes. "You might wanna get in, before I drive off. He says tapping the steering will.

Jen gets in the passenger seat, as I slide into the backseat.

"Deja vu anyone?" I ask sighing.

"You wanna sit in the front?" He asks eyeing Jen.

"Yeah, Joey if you want to sit in the front..."Jen says.

"No, no." I say. "I'm fine, back here away from Pacey's bodily odors."

Jen just laughs, as Pacey rolls his eyes for the second time.

"What odors?" He asks Jen. "I smell good." He says confidently, looking at the road ahaed.

"Who said you didn't." Jen adds.

Well, he does smell good. Where did he get the cologne. Where did he get this car?

"For the last time Pace...where did you get this car?" I ask my eyes narrowing.

"I borrowed it." He says.

"The same borrowing that gets you in trouble with your dad about his car? Or the act of actually borrowing?" I ask.

"The first one." He says. A chill goes down my spine.

"Pacey" I say fearfully. "Did you steal this car?"

"It's not stealing if it's family." He says looking at me through the rearview mirror.

"And what 'family', did you borrow this car from? And do they know?"

"Define, 'know'."He says.

"Okay take me back home." I say plainly folding my arms.

"Joey..."He says.

"I'm serious. Before you get pulled over for grand theft--" I begin.

"Grand theft? This isn't grand theft okay, I'm gonna give it back."

"When?"

"After. After, Mexico alright. Then, I'll give the car back. We're only gonna be gone for two days."

"And how much fun are we supposed to have in two days."

"Use your imagination Potter. Do you know how much havoc we can cause in two days."

"I have a good idea." I say looking out the window.

"Come on Jo, lighten up." Jen says.

"Don't call me Jo." I say regrefully returning to an angry state of mind.

"Whatever." Jen replies defeated. Pacey just looks at us both in dissapointment.

"Can't we all just get along?" He jests, with a sympathetic glare. "So, you still wanna go home Joey?" He asks, also defeated.

Realizing I was seriously ruining the mood I perked up. Afterall I did want this adventure more than anything right now. And, he obviously wanted me to come for a reason...whatever it was.

"I'm sorry." I say somberly. "I'm always doing this I--I can't help it. I'll analize things until they barely even exist anymore and... I'm sick of it." I say barely even talking to them anymore.

"Jo, If I thought you didn't know how to have fun, I wouldn't have invited you. Look, I know you need this break more than any of us. So, why don't you just kick back and try to relax."He replies reassuringly.

"He's right Joey." Jen adds sighing.

"I don't want to go home." I say finally. "Let's go."

"Yes, Ms. Josephine."

Cringe.

And with that, He we leave.. My heart begins to pound at a familiar speed, as I contemplate our leave. Pacey tosses me a book over his shoulder.

"What the hell is this?" I ask.

"Spanish for dummies." He responds.

Indeed.

Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone:) Hey Meli, how do I get an account?


	5. What Dreams May Come

I close my eyes for the final time, as I slowly wake inside a dream. Distorted, all I can see is the sunrise and Pacey in a far off distance. He stands sullenly above a cliff staring off into the boundless land of trees far beyond our vision. Without myself in sure sight, my soul, or spirit still continues on, until I'm where he stands. His eyes find me, as he smiles in a dreamlike manner. I can feel heat within my real body grow intensely as his hand reaches out for mine. In return, my hand finds his, while I take notice of the first surfacing part of my body. The next being my other hand as it reaches for his other. He smiles softly, and leans in to what I assume is my face.

Pulling me compeletly in his embrace, I finally see all of me. I stand in his arms, wearing only a thin red dress, as we motion down further to the ground. His kisses are brief, but fulfilling, as his lips travel from my neck to my mouth. Barely breathing I more than except, as I freely pull him closer within my reach until he lays atop of me, as I begin to entice my less than virginal sensuality. The heat from the sun seems to intensify, as his fingers silkily journey up my thigh. Coyly, my eyes gradually meet his. The corners of his mouth curl up into a pleased but warning smile as he continues further and further until..."Potter." My face grows confused as I shift beneath him. "Potter!" He says again.

"What!" I exclaim, shock rushing and heating my vains, faster than blood ever could. I find myself no longer in the exiteing demension that induced me so vastly.

"We're here." Pacey says looking at me strangley. "You've been sleep for a while now." He informs me.

"Yeah, well..." I trail off shakily, not able to look him in the eye. Not after such a dream.

"And where are we exactly?" Jen chimes in, as a feel of relief comes over me for once. "Because it seems we're only half there."She says holding a flashlight in her mouth, looking over the map.

"Actually..." He says taking the map from her. "We're...half there." He finishes avoiding her told-you-so glare.

"How long will it be before we're actually there?" I ask.

"Oh, uh--hours."He says flipping the map upside down.

"Pacey..." I say aggrivated.

"Look, before you bite my head off, let it be said that A: we're gonna get there don't worry, and B: well, that's the fun part about road trips right? It's the whole abandonment thing you know? Impulse." He says convincing himself and Jen at the same time.

"If you say that word one more time." I say rubbing my forehead.

"Impluse." Jen says with a chuckle.

"Ha ha." I say looking out the window, taking notice of the large convienent store in our reach.

"Oh." I say remembering his misleading remark of us 'being here'. "Are we here to get gas?"

"That, and to load up on junkfood." He says getting out of the car. "I'll be right back." He says stopping in his looking from his left to right shoulder at the endless darkness surrounding us. Barely a streetlight in sight. The lights in the store did little to add a revealing glow to it's surroundings."Um...anyone wanna come with me?" He asks with a nervous chuckle.

"Why?" I ask smiling.

"Because...I wouldn't wanna leave you two out here alone and everything, you know. Well with the coyotes lurking about and whatnot."

"Pace, there's no coyotys in--wherever the hell we are." Jen say fanning herself with the now folded map.

"Are you scared?" I ask teasing.

"You know" He says with a dry chuckle. "What do you guys want? He asks defeated.

"I can pick out my own food, thank you very much." I say getting out of the car sypathetically, as his arm brushes my side when he reaches behind me to shut the door. He stops and looks at me, then the store, his actions suddenly existing in slow motion.

"Ladies first." He says with a sheepish smile, gazing at me then the ground.

I marvel at this. For a second, my mouth drops as whatever oxygen I was using esapes me. I stand at a still with constant flashbacks of the dream unable to meet his eyes once again. My nerves already jumbled, I searched the air for a steady breath. Finding one, my eyes travel to his as he again stares at me strangely.

"You ok, Jo?" He asks feeling my forehead.

"I'm fine." I say brushing off the comfort I feel with his concern. "Lets just get in there so we can get out of here as quickly as possible." I say with a sigh.

"No problema." He says humoressly.

"Page 51" I say nodding.

"I love that book." He says walking into the store.

"Well, I'm glad you've found a book you can actually read let alone enjoy Pacey."I say nudging him.

"Leave the comedy to me, alright Josephine."

"I told you--"

"Alright!" He says cutting me off walking over to the counter. "Gas, I need gas." He says handing the clerk money.

"How full?" The clerk asks, as their conversation grows slightly indestinct as I make my way to the back of the store to rescue a bootle of snapple.

We get all the nessecary 'junk' and beverages that should last us for the rest of the night, and if possible, half of the day. Leaving the store first, I walk to the car, open the door and place the bags in the back seat. As I lean in to put the final bag in, I notice Jen's long coming trip to slumberland. Peacfully she sleeps, her head tilted to the side as her arm rests out the car window. A smile graces my face, as I walk over to the window leaning over, I take her hand, and place it perfectly on her lap.

"So you finally did it. You know murder is against the law Potter." Pacey says making me jump a little.

"Don't do that!" I say barely above whisper.

"Do what?"He asks smacking on some cips, much to my annoyance.

"Sneak up on me."

"I wasn't sneaking." He chuckles handing me the bag of chips. "Hold this." He says sweeping his hands against his jeans, cleaning off the salt residue from the chips.

"Ew." I say reading the brand. "Salt and vinigar?"

"What? Thery're good." He says shrugging, as he takes the gas hose, and begins filling up the tank.

"Whatever you say."

Wanting desperatley to talk about my dream with someone, I looked over at Jen who was still in a seemingly deep sleep. Sighing, I look over at Pacey as I question whether or not to tell him. Maybe he could tell me what it meant. Wait...this is Pacey Witter I'm talking about. He'll tell me what it means, then I'll never hear the end of it. Lovely. Just lovely. Well, I have to talk about it with someone, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't remember ever having a dream like that.

Even though I can't talk to him about the dream, I have to talk to him about something. I'm beginning to like our conversations. For some reason I'm also beginning to feel a strange attatchment to him that's more personable. Maybe it's because he was such a intense fixture in my dream. Maybe it's because he's a heavy fixture in my reality. Perhaps it's because like the feelings I can't seem to shake from the dream, my attraction him is growing, and those same feared emotions are seeping into my already complicated reality. There's something happening between us, that neither one of us want to confront. Or am I just over analizing my emotions? Maybe he still likes Jen, and I'm just a side note. Yeah...he just didn't want me to feel left out. No. That's not it. Just say something.

"So which family member did you rob?" I ask finally escaping the thick walls of my imagination.

"I did not rob anyone, I simply borrwowed the car from my distant cousin."

"What distant cousin?"

"I went to a family reunion with my parents." He replies sighing. "I got into a minor fight with my dad, as per usual, and stormed off. I was getting ready to leave when my less than a margin of a snob cousin ran up to me and tried to stop me. Much thanks to my aunts pushy advances for him to do so of course."

"And then..."

"Well, he succeeded and I stayed. We got into a long conversation about the quietly dysfunctional Witter family and plans to get out of this town some day."He says with a sadness he isn't able to hide this time.

"What did you and your father fight about?"

"Everyone was talking about what their kids were going to be doing after the fall. Some were going to Northwestern, some to Sarah Laurence, Spellman, Georgetown...Yeah, you name it, and one of the pretentious bastards was sure to be attending." He said putting hose back, and shutting the passage.

"So what did father Witter have to say this time?" I ask folding my arms, preparing to process the bitter information.

"What do you think?" He asks smiling happlessly. "I'm paraphrasing here, but it was something along the lines of "Not my boy. Pacey's gonna spend the rest of his life here in Capeside bumming off of whoever has the misforune of his company, isn't that right Pacey?"He says shaking his head.

"He said that?" I ask in disbelief.

"Something along those lines." He says clearing his throat. "We should get going."He says walking over to the drivers seat.

"That's awful Pacey, but why did you take the car?"

"Because my rich cousin apparently has a gift of finding humor in the most awkward of situations."

"So in return..."

"I decided to take the car for a spin. He gave me the keys and said I could take it for a drive, since I probably would never own such a luxury."

"Right. So...you do know that since your cousin is in fact rich, and will more than likey have the police on your case in the next twenty four hours we may not even make it to the boarder. I mean at the rate we're going, when we pass the next street, there's a strong chance of gettting caught and being turned in."

"You have a point." He says stroking his chin.

"But..." I say grabbing his attention. "If we get out of here fast enough--"

"Miss Potter I am surpised in you." He say happily getting into the car. I smile, and follow suit into the backseat, shutting the door.

"Wha? What's going on?" Jen asks awaking.

"We've gotta get out of here before the cops get us. You in?"He asks starting the engine.

"Um--sure why not." She says shaking her head raising a brow. "Let's just...not get caught." She says slumping down into the seat covering herself with a small blanket. "I'm going back to sleep, tell me when we get there."

"You got it." He says pulling off.

I roll down the window, letting the wind swim through my hair. A calm came over me as Pacey turned up the radio.

"You sure you up for this Jo?" He asks looking at me through the rear view mirror for the second time since we left.

"We're not commiting murder Pacey, and besides he'll get the car back."I say with a sly smile.

"Now, you're gettin it." He says laughing.

I bite my lip and continue to let the wind caress my face, as it suddenly represented a freedom. A larger freedom then I felt in my dream. On this adventure alone, I realize that I am not only living, but fulfilling one. I'm leaving Capeside, and even if it doesn't last forever, I'll always remember this feeling, and the boy that helped provide me with such feedom. And unlike my dream, our etenal bond will never end. Well...I hope. I closed my eyes, and tried to make a second trip into my subconsious. Hopefully, I'll awake and we'll be at our destination.

My eyes bat open, as sun rays make yellow stripes across my skin. Hesitantly my body perks up, as I look impatiently out the window. One of the many signs we pass reads -el passo-. I jump up, and look ahead in the front seat where Pacey lays asleep on the passengers side. I wonder if he dreams of me too. My eyes dart over to Jen who's apparently taken the wheel.

"Are we in there?" I ask as if I were a child again, hardly veiling my exitement.

"We're getting closer. Right now we're in Texas." She says suddenly smiling a little. "We'll be there in a couple hours."

"Yes." I say pleased, sitting back.

"Good thing I took over. Poor Pacey...He definitely deserves the rest."

"Yeah." I say, listening to the road crackle beneath us, as the car becomes quiet.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. Once we get there I'll wake you up." She says kindly.

"Thanks." I say resting my head on the window loaning her a smile, while the rest inflitrated within me.

I close my eyes falling asleep once again.

"Joey!" Pacey says waking me up. "Get up."

My head rises as I look out the window again, only to see a darker tent of day, in my vision. I must have been sleep for a while.

"We're here!" Jen says slowing down the car. "We made it." She says laughing, as she and Pacey have a quick embrace.

"Welcome to Mexico Jo." He says looking back at me. My mouth just drops.

"Oh, my gosh" I say laughing. "We made it." I say more to myself. "We really made it!"

We all just laugh as the sun rises once again sending light through out the dusty land.

"So where do we go first?" Jen asks Pacey.

"Where do think?" He asks as they look at each other once more.

"Where are we going?" I ask eyeing them both. They just smile at each other, then me.

"You'll see." Pacey says.

"Well this should be interesting."

Thanks for the reviews guys:D Keeps me at the keyboard:)

Hey Meli:) I feel a bit like a dummy, but what do I sign onto?


	6. You Don't Know Big Earl

** You Don't Know Big Earl**

I took a break from myself, away from my thoughts, to listen to the rain. Thousands of small Raindrops tap dance on the window, as I stand feet away. Placing my nailpolish on top of the nearest, somewhat posh dresser, I walk over to the large glass that protects me from the darkened watery vision. Looking out, my eyes scan over the small balcony, where the chairs are beaded with water, and the ground lays as mirrors to the sky. The patience of the sun, and quiet falling of the rain, sends a calm over me as I take it all in. The beautiful suite where Jen, Pacey, and myself have taken stay, has become a steady security as the next hour passes more slowly than the last.

Now in my second hour alone, the rain loses it's luster. Suddenly it seems more like a stranger as my patience and comfort gradually slips away. The sun seems to have the same reaction, as it grows weary of it's heavy cousin, and casts light on all and everything beneath it. The rain comes to a stop, and my attention deverts elsewhere.

"Finally." I say quietly. Maybe now we can go out.

"We're back." A familar voice chimes.

"It's about time." I say absently, still looking out at the balcony.

"Joey" Jen says over my shoulder.

"Jen?" I ask turning to face her.

"I got you two shirts..." She says pulling out clothes, from a paper shopping bag. "And...a pair of jeans." She finishes, tossing me the jeans. "I hope they fit. I don't really know your size."

"They're fine." I say sitting on the bed.

"Good."She says joyfully.

I look over at Pacey, who's removing clothes from his bag.

"And what did you get?" I ask.

"A couple of souvineres."

"Mexico's finest." I say raising a brow at one of the printed t-shirts Jen gave me.

"Pacey has one too. He picked 'em out."

"Lovely." I say looking at Pacey, who's grinning as he holds up the matching shirt. "I always said you had good taste."

"I know right? Okay ladies, now that we've--well the lovely Jen Lindley and I--Joey Potter not included of course, has been to the el store-o--"

"Wait, where did you guys go?" I question curiously. They never told me where they were going when they left the hotel earlier.

"We went to this strip mall-o." Jen says.

"Would you guys stop talking like that." I say with a chuckle. "That's not real spanish."

"Okay, Ms. Potter." They say in unison, eyeing one another.

"Were you guys talking behind back or something?" I ask disenchanted. Why do they seem so close all of a sudden?

"Look, Joey you don't have be paranoid or anything, we're just having fun, that's all." Jen says lighthearted, her tone easing my rising annoyance.

"Besides you ran right into that one Potter" Pacey adds with a laugh.

"True." Jen follows.

"I'm was just saying.." I say pulling my hair behind my ear. "Did we really need more clothes though?"

Jen gasps.

"Blasphemy."

"No. But, I thought it would be a good idea to get out and get to know the land ya know."

"Why? It's not like we're staying."

"Still... I wanna have as much fun as possible without being couped up in this here lovely hotel room all day. Now, I don't know about you Potter, but for he short time I'm here, I'm on vacation."

I just nod.

"You girls should start gettin' ready in about an hour or so."

"Why what time is it?" Jen asks.

"Four-thirty." He says looking at his miniscule watch.

"Nice watch." I say opening a bag of salt and vinegar chips. They weren't half bad.

"Everyone's a comedien." He says wryly, adjusting the watch.

"Where are we going? And just how much money do you have?"

"Dancing...and I'm sorry what was that last question?"

"The money. How much of it do you have?"

"Don't worry--"

"I am worried."

"Listen--"

"I mean, how do I know you didn't rob a bank or something?" I ask dryly, as Jen lets out a chuckle.

"That wasn't funny." He says looking from me to Jen.

"Oh, so she can laugh at your jokes but not mine?"

"At least I'm funny."

"Not even. Your jokes--if you can call them that-- land like bricks." I say exasperated.

"And what the hell did you mean by "she can laugh at my jokes but not yours"?

"That's not what I said."

"Oh, could you repeat yourself then."

"I said quote "Oh, so she can laugh at your jokes but not mine."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said "She can laugh at my jokes but not yours." I say folding my arms.

"And?"

"And, that's not what I said...duh."

"That's real funny Potter, but don't change the subject."

"What subject?"

"What did you mean by that?"

"Well, I thought it was implied...you know like your little inside jokes and what not."

"What inside jokes?" He asks, as I find it harder to avoid Jen's agitated glare.

"You know the the little jokes you two have between you. Thanks to the apparent increase of closeness developing between you and ''The lovely Jen Lindley''." I say looking away, immeditely regretting the utterance as soon as it escaped my lips. If I hadn't made a jealous ass of myself before well...

"What?" Pacey asks softly, again looking from me to Jen. Out the corner of my eye, I can see her motion to something then shrug.

"You can't deny the fact that you two have become more...I mean, ever since that night." I say mentally examining my words. The tension in the room comes to a rise, as everyone getss quiet.

"Nothing's going on between us if that's what you think--"Jen says calmly, as Pacey interrupts.

"What night?"

"I know." I say sighing. "I just...I feel... alone, and I don't know why."I say solemnly.

"Well, you're not." She says wrapping her arm around my shoulder, resting her head against mine.

Hesitantly, I accept the peace offering, and yet another wall falls to my feet.

"Thanks." I say whispering.

"Anytime." She say releasing her grasp.

"What night?" He asks again. Jen and I laugh. Now we have an inside joke.

"She may be pertaining to the night where we tried to...well, let's just say there were smelly coats and an anxiety ridden square room involved."

"Oh...I thought you weren't upset?" He asks smiling.

"Don't be so smug. I'm not upset and I wasn't then. I was just...surprised."

"Sure." He says with a nod. "I guess that's why you're still throwing random fits."

Jen gasps.

"Oh no he didn't." She says.

"I believe he did." I say standing up, and backing him into a wall.

"First Jen, now me?"

"You know what? You are funny Witter." I say pressing my hand against his chest. "Got anything else?"I ask sardonically.

"You know, if there wasn't a third party in this room, I would have to take you up on that invitation, if you know what I mean." He says whispering, leaning closer to my face.

"I'm moderately bummed." I say avoiding his eyes and backing away.

"Enough." Jen says geting up. "The sexual tension alone is killing me. Not to mention sending me into a world of awkward voyeuristic depression."She finishes closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Now, Joey...you and I have to get ready."

"For what?" I ask turning to her.

"Dancing. We're 'hitting up' this little club a couple of blocks away."

"I didn't bring a dress."

"I had an idea you didn't so...I got you one at the store-o" She says with a laugh, taking a slinky red dress out of the bag.

"Oh, my..." I say english becoming a second launguage replaced by gibberish.

"You don't like it." She says placing it on the bed.

"No, no, I love it. It's just..." I begin, as I hold the dress up closer to my face.

"Hot." Pacey says giving the dress a closer look. "Where have you been all my life?

"Ha ha. It's beautiful--it must have cost alot." I say looking at her quizically.

"Yeah it must have." Pacey says giving her a death scare.

"Don't worry Pacey, it wasn't all that much."

We both look at her doubfully.

"Seriously. It was on sale."

"Whatever you say." Pacey says more cheerfully, looking at me.

"What?"

"Well...are you gonna try it on?" He asks half smiling, as a I wait for him to twirl an over-sized mustache bewtween his fingers.

"I guess so." I say looking over the dress once more.

"Cool." He says quietly, seemingly unintentional.

"Cool." Jen adds, giving him a knowing glance then walking over to the bathroom.

"Before we get ready to leave, I just wanted to say that this is a really great room Pacey, and that I'm really happy to be here. Regardless of my less than sunny dissposition."

"Thanks." He says lightly elbowing me. "Maybe I'll sleep in the bed tonight afterall right?" He asks less than humoressly. He sounded kind of serious. Did he really want to sleep...with me? Ugh, maybe he just wants to change the sleeping arrangments. Afterall he had to sleep on a rollaway, while me and Jen got the wonderfull beds we were promised once we got to the hotel. I got the bigger bed for some reason.

"You know, I baby you Potter."He says shaking me from my introspection.

"What?"

"Well not only do you have your own bed, but you also staked your claim for the big guy on the block."

Hmm...oh yeah.

"Look Pacey, if you don't like the sleeping arrangments then change them. Technically it's your money, your room."

"No it's fine." He reassures me. "Wait, no it's not. Look, when we first got here I was all "Surprise"! All the exiement that came with us actually making it here, kinda took hold of me."

"So...with exitment comes irrational thinking."

"It's a theory."

"And now that you're...rational, you have a better take on things?"

"Exactly. Now why don't you and Jen take big earl--"

"Big Earl?"

"That's his name--the bed."

"Right." I reply surpressing a laugh.

"Now you and Jen take Big Earl, and I'll take the other bed. I don't think my back can handle the rollaway."

"You are getting old." I say sarcastically.

"Jo..."

"I know, I know." I say surrendering. "Sounds like a plan."

"Good." He says happily, slapping his hands together.

"Alright guys" Jen says walking out of the bathroom. "Whaddya think?"

"Hot or not?" Pacey asks me, stroking his chin.

"Hot." I say slowly, looking over the coral blue satiny dress.

"Thank you." She relpies in a sing-song voice.

"That reminds me, I have to get ready." I say rushing into the bathroom forgetting the key ingredient.

"Here." Jen says tossing me he dress.

"Thanks." I say grabbing it and closing the door.

"So...?"I ask nervously, twirling around in the breezy ensemble, while surpressing any and all humility.

"Hot or not?" Jen asks looking over at Pacey, stroking her chin.

My eyes dart to Pacey, as the usual passiveness I have when it comes to my looks, and what other people think of them, vastly subsides. Not the most esteemed person, I'm fine with being not pretty, but now, the notion that he may see me the same as I see myself seems to bother me.

"Well, I say hot.You look great Joey." Jen says cheerfully looking more at the dress than me. "Wow...I'm awesome."

"Pacey?" I ask hesitantly.

He tilts his head to the side a little as if in thought.

"Not bad." He says clearing his throat. "You look beautiful Joey." He says staring at me with an unually weak veil of intesity.

Which is what I wanted, yet for some reason I feel uncomfortable.

"We should head out." Jen says looking more uncomfortable than me. "Sexual tentsion." She whispers playfully as she walks out the door.

"After you." Pacey says sweetly.

I just nod.

"Thanks." I say walking out.

"You're welcome." He says following close behind. "Si hable welcome comprende"

"Pacey!"

"What? What I say?"

"Probably not what you intended." Jen says with a pat on his shoulder.

"Is this club over eighteen?" I ask.

"Yes, Ms. Potter." He says harmlessly.

"Oh, we're on a roll." I say with a vague smile.

"Which reminds me...Jen?" He asks, as the three of us come to a halt.

"Oh, here." She says handing me an I.D card.

"What the hell?" I ask.

"What?" Pacey questions taking the I.d from me.

"This barely looks anything like me."

"Well she kind of--" Jen tries.

"No." I say.

"Okay, but there are some similarities." Pacey says.

"Like what?" I ask in disbelief.

"The lips, the beautiful eyes."

"What?" I ask off guard.

"Look, fake I.D's aren't supposed to be good, that would like diserve the purpose or something. Not to mention It's getting dark out, so whoever the boucer is, won't be able to see that the big over-sized head on the picture isn't yours. Who knows, they might not even card us."

"Exactly." Jen says.

"Can't we go somewhere else? Anywhere?" I ask.

"That depends. Do they have any tourists places or...? Pacey asks, obviously down beat at the idea of ditching the club idea.

"We would certainly turn some heads." Jen says leaning on the wall.

" Well...I'm sure we can find some good places around here. All we gotta do is find 'em." He says walking ahead.

"Maybe we could find some kids our age, and ask them if they know any good places." Jen says.

"I saw some kids in uniform, on our way up here." I say thinking back to the poverty stricken roads we passed on our way to the beautiful main stay known as _La Quinta Inn._

"Hmm...we'll ask them." He replies sarcastically.

"I mean--"

"I know what you mean, but it's muy importante' we find something to do before nightfall. I would like to get some sleep ladies."

Finally, we make our way to the lobby as the rain falls even heavier then before, while making it's third ressurection today.

"Great." I mutter dissapointed.

"Guess we're not going anywhere." He says.

"Looks like it's gonna be a blockbuster night." I say with a sigh.

"Suddenly, I'm feelin' all kinds of sleepy." He says turning back around.

"Ditto." Jen say.

"Oh, Jen...looks like we're going to be sharing a bed." I say catching up to her.

"We are?"

"It's either you or Pacey."

"I see your dilemma."

"So...you're fine with it?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Good."

"Man, I was really hoping to get out today."

"Me too." I say a little surprised. "Me too."

Back in the room, Jen immeditely sat on the bed and removed her shoes. I followed. Pacey had been silent the whole trip to the suite. Again, sadness radiated around him. I wondered if that same sorrow had taken it's toll on his heart. Now, his dissapointment of us not being able to leave seemed far more deeper than our eyes or imagination could believe. Maybe he was depressed. His highs so high, and his lows so low. Like me, before this trip, he's sad...now, so am I. Maybe now it's my turn to do something for him. Yeah...that's what I'll do.

Sorry it took so long for an update, but on the personal tip my family and I are gettin ready to move, so it's taken me a little longer to update this story : anyhow hope ya liked it. Meli :) sorry it's taken so long for me to respond about the campfire, but was there supposed to be a link where you put 'go onto'? Cause if there was it didn't show, so I still don't know how to sign up. Is it too late:(


	7. Road Trips Are For Happy People

**Road Trips are for Happy People**

I inhale and exhale for the fourth time in a row, hoping to relieve the uneasy pain. My back aches, and now the unpleasant sensation travels further down. I re-adjust myself, my face to the sky, and my back resting against the cold water stained bench. The air brushes against my skin with an unusual roughness, as the air grows thick. The heat becomes dire, as my arms, legs, and forehead become exessively damp. Simply breathing is no longer my crutch, as even that becomes a task. Sitting up, I relieve myself of most of my discomfort by standing up and walking around.

Sitting too still, had always made my illness and pain worse.

I walk back and forth, sifting through thoughts that may be helpful in bringing me wanted joy. Hmm.. I assume Fall continues to make it's traditional return as my favorite season in Capeside. Summer is always well enjoyed, but dwindles when compared to it's warm and honey successor. My memory serves as a cheer-me-up, as I imagine the heavily missed somewhat perfect picture. I smile as the picture grows clear. All the autumn leaves abandoning the lifeless trees without a care or wonder in it's course, captures my emotions and sends me in a whirl wind of nostalgia.

My imaginative return to Capeside is shortlived, once the pain kicks back in. 'Ouch.' I murmur unhappily.

"You okay?" She asks approaching

"No." I say through grinded teeth.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say situating myself back on the bench.

"Then why do you look like you wanna kill someone?"

"It's my back."I say. "It hurts. Badly I might add."

"Did you sleep well?" She asks taking a swig from her bottle of water.

"I don't think so."

"Well, I'm not really surprised considering when I woke up you were all over me."

"What?" I bite.

"Yep. When I woke up your foot was in my side."

"It was not." I say surpressing a laugh. I remember an elbow, but never a foot.

"It's true." She retorts.. "Did you dream about some gnarly kickboxing match last night or...?"

"So if I was all over you, how come I'm the one in pain?"

" Dream Karma?"

"I'm gonna hurt you."

"It's no big deal. Everyone moves in their sleep." She says with a laugh per word.

"Move this." I say with a prompt middle finger.

"That's just obscene." She says, the tip of her nose in the air.

"Ladies." He hesitantly interrupts.

"Yes?" I ask, trying to decode his warning but detatched glare.

"Let's see..." He began as if it was hard to breath, his eyes to the ground.

"What did he say Pacey?" I ask dully.

"He um--he says if I don't come back he's going to round up the guys and come out here. The end.

"Thats' all he said?" I ask.

"Of course not." He says. "You know deputy John doesn't usually have many, let alone peacful words for his fifth born, and this was no exeption."

"You didn't tell him where we were did you?" Jen asks.

"No. Why would I?" He answered looking from her to me. "Why do you ask?"

"Well I don't know, it's just the way you said he was 'coming out here'. Which by the way implies that he actually knows where we were."

"Oh, he knows." He says laughing at the humorless situation.

"He does?" I ask.

"How?" Jen asks.

"Well...someone must have told someone where we were going." He says with light humor, holding back all agitation. "Jen?"

"What?" She asks as if just joining the conversation.

"Did you tell someone?"

"Me?" She asks pressing her hand against her chest.

"You." He mouths.

"No-No! I haven't even talked to anyone since we left." She defends. "What about you Joey?"

"I--" I say, ready to state my seperation from such an idiotic deed. Wait a minute.

"You..?" He presses.

"Well what makes you think I did." I say nervously pulling my hair behind my right ear, hiding a now guilty expression.

"Well I know I didn't, and Jen says she didn't, so that only leaves you Potter."

"Didn't you call Bessie last night?" Jen asks.

"Yes." I say abruptly.

"And...did you mention we were in New Mexico?"

"Sure did. Told her the Hotel name and everything." I say wryly. It's true. I talked to Bessie last night and told her I would be back tomorrwow, which by the way things are going, may turn out to be untrue. "I didn't tell her anything." I finalize.

"So know one said anything?" He prods.

"No." We both reply, a second ahead of eachother.

"Damnit!" Pacey gritted out angrily, sqeezing his knuckles. Jen and I just looked at the ground.

"This was a stupid idea in the first place."Jen said quietly.

Pacey's returns to his fixation with the ground. His obvious dissapointment seeming to mount to humiliation.

"No it wasn't." I whisper.

"What?" He asks.

"How could it be stupid? We all wanted to get away for different reasons...Whatever they may be." I say looking at Pacey with intent. "Besides, Pacey came up with it, and Pacey isn't stupid are you Pace."

A gravitational pull tuged the corners of his mouth, bringing a beautiful smile to his face.

"No, I am not." He says digging his hands in his pockets with an understanding nod.

"Good to know." I say happily standing up, the pain in my back alieviating. "Now...You aren't going to believe this."I say with a disbelieving laugh. "But um... I think I know who let your father know where we are."

"Who?" He asks.

"Dawson." I say. Just placing the face with the conversation my memory just drudged up.

"And how did Dawson know?"

"Me. I told him when I thought you guys had left."

"And why did you do that?"

"Let me show you." I say walking up to him. "You're Dawson." I say.

"Okay." He plays along.

"Dawson."

"Yes?" He asks folding his arms.

"No...I meant 'Dawson' as if I'm going to start talking." I inform him.

"So then why am I Dawson?"

"Oh.." I say furrowing my eyebrows. "Well, I'm Dawson." I say with a shrug.

"This should be good." Jen adds.

"So Dawson says..." I say looking away. I sigh. "Screw it. I told him that you guys were gone, and that you went to Mexico."

Pacey and Jen just exchange looks.

"You uh...you had to be there." I say sitting back down.

"Jo..." He begins frustrated. "You know what nevermind. It doesn't even matter anymore."

"What?" Jen asks. "Just a minute ago you were ready to light a fire under my ass."

"Exaggeration is very unhealthy." He replies.

After a few minutes pass, we remain quiet in thought. Pacey finally speaks again.

"Well, I guess It's back to neverland kiddies."

"It was fun while it lasted." Jen agrees. "I did learn a few things though."

"Like what?" Pacey asks finally making his way from the door of the phonebooth to the car.

"In any and all future endevors we may find ourselves participating in together: Never sleep with Joey..."

"Um, I'll have to detest that testification, considering I have yet to experience such privilage."He says getting in the car. "I guess nice guys finish last eh, Lindley?"

"Shut up." She says, again laughing as she enters the passenger seat. I make my way into my apparently permenent postion in the back seat. Pacey cranks the engine, and steps on the gas as we ride off into the sunset.

Absently I focus my attention to the spanish verbs, and pronounciation keys. Looking out the window every two minutes bewtween pages, I finally place the book by my side.

"Pacey?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Now that we're goin home...do you think you can tell me why you really wanted to leave?"

"What do you mean I already told you."

"You told me a reason, but not the real one."

"Does it really matter?" He asks pleadingly.

"Yes." I say softly.

"Tell her." Jen says.

"You've known me for a long time now Jo, am I right?"

"Yes." I repeat.

"And you also know that I have a certain self effacing humor when it comes to myself. Which by the way, is strictly a prevention to taking myself too seriously, and spending my already troubled teenage years submerged in self indulgent meanderings."

"Okay" I say slowly, catching up to his words.

"Take that, add my recent flailing grades, my often grievious state of mind, thanks to the noticably absent Andie. Not to mention the now increasing fights with daddy dearest, and you have a very unhappy teenager."

"So..."

"So...it's enough to make a guy snap."

"And you have?"

"Well, according to Mother and Father of the Year, I have."

"What?"

"That's right. What others may consider a teenager's unruly angst, they consider depression."

"They're putting him on meds." Jen announces.

"Don't say it like that." He says wincing. "They're going to take me to a phychiatrist, and try to get me a prescipted medication for my apparent chemical imbalance."

I can think of nothing to say.

"I'm not depressed." He whispers aimlessly. "Do you think I'm depressed?" He asks looking at me through the rear-view mirror. Gradually I met his eyes that were lifeless as much as they were pleading.

"Only you can know that Pace." I say untruthfully, knowing the answer.

He just looked at the road ahead.

"So, yes?" He asks, eyes still on the raod.

I decide not to answer.

"We're going back to the hotel?" Jen asks sadly, breaking the heavy silence.

"Yeah." He answers.

"Good. I never got to say goodbye to this bellboy, who by the way is really hot, and--well nevermind" She says word upon word.

"I should probably let you guys know that I'm gonna drop you off, but I'm not going back home."

"What, why?" She asks.

"Why do you think? He wants to run away from his problems."

"And there's something wrong with that?" He asks much to my dismay.

"What do you want me to say Pacey?"

"I want--"

"What? What do you want? Do you want me to tell you: Oh, sure Pacey you should definitely run away. Why not, I mean you only have one life to live right?"

"Exactly."

"I don't believe you." I say defeated, as I look out the window wishing to be outside of it for once.

"I want the truth." He say quietly. "Just tell me...the truth."

"I think you should go home. Face your father..and your mother."

"I don't want to be put on meds."

"They might help you."

"Do you really believe that?" He asks, opting for the last word.

No.

"Yes." I choke out.

Reality? I just want him home.

"Alright." He says. "We''ll see when we get there."

I want to believe him. I try to let my senses become drunk of his words, but fail miserably. Alas, I know he's lying. A part of me hopes to be led away with him. That part of me subsides once I realize...he'll have do this on his own. Maybe his own will include me. I wish I knew.

"Good." I whisper, but not feeling too good myself. The pain in my back returned. "Great. Just great." I again glance out the window.

"Pacey?" I ask.

"Yeah?" He asks disgruntled.

"This isn't the way back to the hotel." I say flatly giving him the evil eye.

"It isn't?" He asks faking confusion.


	8. Ready Or Not

**Read Or Not **

I awake from yet another of my pointedly avid dreams, almost short of breath. A small gasp finds it's way to the cold, patient air flowing through the room, I quietly breath with relief. Looking to my left, my eyes drift to the petite blonde that lay next to me. She lay still, so peacfully unconcious I catch myself before making any movements. Slowly, I decide to remove myself tactfully, reminder, after reminder, not to wake her. With one foot planted firmly on the floor, the other soon follows, as I evenly find balance on the cold, hard floor. Relief at last, I look over at Pacey, who like Jen, is likely heavily within his own dreams. What does he dream? I allow myself to wonder in jest. I wonder if he dreams of me. No... Probably not. He seems too peacfull, I joke looking him over, his body swallowed in a midst sheets. He moves.

"Pacey." I whisper, walking over to his bedside. A wave of sympathy suddenly takes place in my mind. Before I can whisper again, he wakes.

"Wha--What is it?" He studders out.

"I was just seeing if you were okay." I say searching for a lie.

"And why wouldn't I be okay?" He asks, propping his head upon his hand. "And why are you looking at me like that?" He asks more softly.

"Like, what?" I ask with a smile.

"Like, how you're looking."

"Oh, well I may be feeling a little guilty." I say sitting down, turning toward him.

"Guilty?"

"Yes, guilty. You see, I realize that in the midst of this little adventure of ours, you never got to experience... Well, Big Earl."

"Goodnight Potter." He says burying his head beneath the pillow.

"No, I'm serious." I say with a more slight smile. "This is our last night here, we shouldn't be sleeping."

"Said the person who won't be getting up to drive at the crack of dawn." He says running a hand through his hair. "Besides, I don't mind about the big bed and all, it obviously wasn't meant to be." He finishes with a sigh, looking over at the bed.

"Do you think it's a good idea to steal one of those soap bars?" I question happily.

"I don't see any reason not to." He says sitting up. "I know I've stolen a few in my day."

"You never seize to amaze me Pacey." I say with a laugh. "Pacey Witter--Badass extraordinaire."

"Thanks, Jo. That means alot, especially coming from the original badass."

"It's not easy being me." I say melancholy.

"It certainly is not." He agrees sleepily.

"Yeah.." I say sadly, drifting in thought.

"You really should get some sleep Joey." He says leaning disarmingly close.

"I'm not really all that sleepy Pace." I whisper, my back to him.

"What's is it? You can't sleep or...?"

"I keep having these--" I begin, finding his gaze. "Nevermind, it's...stupid."

"Knowing you--it isn't. Just tell me."

"I don't know. Can I?" I ask motioning to his side.

"What?" He ask looking at me quizically.

"Could we just-- I don't know, lay here and talk or..something?"

"Or something." He says with a chuckle, making room for me as he pulls back the sheet.

Habitually, I bite my lip as I comfortably find my way beside him.

"You know, I'm glad we didn't go back immeditely."I say pulling the sheet closer to my face.

"Me too. asap my ass" He chuckles looking up at the ceiling. " Anyway, I would've missed our permisive snuggling and such things."

"We're not snuggling Pacey." I say narrowing my eyes.

"We are now." He says purposely pulling me closer.

"Pacey." I say above whisper, hesitantly pulling away.

The balcony curtains lay open, as night casts a dark, somewhat blue light across the room. My eyes meet his, as the angst slowly dissapates. I quietly hope the shadows will cover my already painted cheeks.

"Alright, don't get your panties in a twist."

"Please." I retort.

"Okay crabby pants, maybe you'd be better suited on your side of the suite if you know what I mean."

"Shut up, and scoot over."

"As you wish." He says sliding over, making more room for me.

"Thank you." I say turning on my side. He does the same, as we now lay face to face.

"Yeah we can just lay here." He says with a sly smile. "Or..."

"Pacey." I say again, exasperated.

"Well, why else do you think I'm letting you in my personal space?"

"Why did you bring me here?" I challenge.

"That question alone, gets more annoying everytime you ask it."

"Then give me a straight answer."

"What if there is no straight answer."

"Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it."

"Well that sounds like a personal problem." He says laughing.

"Okay, I see you're going to make this hard for me." I say looking away.

"Make..what hard?"

"Nevermind."

"You brought it up."

"Brought what up?" I ask.

"Well I do not know. You were about to say something, but it was replaced with a hardy and might I add dissapoining 'nevermind'."

How am I going to say this.

"Listen, Pacey..."

"Yes?"

"Well, much to my dismay...You're leaving." I say somber.

"You mean--"

"Yes.You're ingenius plan to abandon your loved ones, on a quest for a better life."

"My loved ones?" He questions with a dry laugh.

"I thought that was already implied."I reply.

"What loved ones? Oh, you mean Dougie!"He says escaping whisper.

"Shh." I say looking over at Jen.

"Or perhaps my loving father." He says with an exaggerated joyful shrug."Yeah, I'll miss those family picnics. Doug giving me the evil eye, as Deputy dad tells me to hand him another leg, while my happy mother happily watches the happy interaction between loving father and son under the beauitfully perfect shade tree? That's a lovely picture to paint Potter, but it's hardly the truth."

"Look, I never said that. You do have other family members you know."

"I realize that." He replies frustrated. "They escaped." He whispers to himself.

"You can't just run away Pacey. It's not going to solve anything."

"So what do I do?" He asks.

"I don't--" I say. "I mean if you're depressed, you should get help."

"Well, I sure as hell don't want theirs."

"I know." I say quietly.

"Thanks." He says.

"For?"

"For having this little talk with me. It did wonders for my nerves."

"Gee, you're welcome." I say sarcastically.

"I was being serious. I know a shock." He says nudging me. "I haven't exactly been able to sleep."

"I can relate."

"Yeah? What's bothering you."

"Besides the ulcer I'm probably developing thanks to my work load, nothing."

"It's nothing you can't handle. Afterall, you're a strong broad."

"I appreciate that." I say wryly.

"Anytime."

"So, are you still leaving?" I prod.

"I don't know. I guess I'll decide when we get there."

I just nod.

"Guess I'll be getting back to--Big Earl." I say rising a little.

"So, you're just going to rule out snuggling."

"Yep."

"Spooning?"

"Especially spooning."

"I see your panties are still twisted."

"What? Let's make a deal." I say closing in.

"Yes?" He asks seemingly startled.

"You say nothing of my panties, and I don't distort your face."

"Fair enough." He says with a shy smile, leaning back. "I mean--Deal."

"Thank you." I say, his eyes putting my attention span in a choke hold.

"Anything else?" He asks quietly.

"There may be...something." I say barely able to speak, as my entire body grows warm. My mind ends it's lengthy battle with my now pounding heart as I make a descision. I lean closer to his face, as his deep blues seem to be more than inviting. Maybe it's just my imagination. Whatever it may be, I freeze, and decide not to take any chances. Sheepishly, I avoid his heavy glare, and start to turn away.

"Jo." He gradually whispers pulling me into him, as I fearfully exhale. His gaze travels to my lips, as he mouths something. I'm almost certain he asks for permission, but my focus is lost. I nod, as his lips finally meet mine. Slowly, and patiently, his kiss becomes deeper. I pull back.

"Wait.." I say shutting my eyes. He lets out a sigh.

"I'm um--" He begins, then laughs nervously.

"I should--I should--I mean, you were right. I should be getting some sleep." I say rising, my eyes still fixated on his.

"Right." He says his eyes dropping. "You should definitely...do that."He says not hiding his dissapointment, and confusion.

"Goodnight." I say trying to mentally detach myself. Alas, I freaked out...Just like I thought I would.

He didn't say another word.

I silently climb back into the over-sized bed. I cover my face with the sheet, as I surpress any tears that may overtake. As if magically transported back to girlhood, I feel like crying. I look over at Pacey, as he uncomforably twists and turns. There's no going back now. Well, tomorrow should be interesting.

TBC, a.s.a.p

I haven't updated in a while, but couldn't wait to put this chap up since I've already started on the next. It's pretty short, (I think) and a pre-party for the next chapter. So I'll be back with an upate soon. Thanks for the reviews and compliments on my questionable writin skillz lol. I've been writing for officially a year now so thanks:D Motivates me muchly.;)


	9. Before We Say Goodbye

**Before We Say Goodbye**

Groggily, we leave the beautiful La Quinta Inn, quietly, and more reserved than the exiteted hopefuls we'd become upon first arrival. If we'd only felt such things for a second, it still is no matter, since the notion is now a distant memory. One wonders, if like this 'vacation', said feelings were ever true. Was it an instant escape? A breath of fresh air? If possible, my time as a careless teenager has inevitably expired, and I find myself even more discouraged than I was before we left. We won't be in Kansas anymore Jorthy, Jen warned in jest. But like Pacey, this has become so much more to me than just an instant escape.

The one thing I hoped to accomplish in this gorgeous, but tragic land, was nothing more than a failed attempt to fly. All systems were go, but somhow the plane went down. Mostly because it's pilot chickend out. I learned something last night, regardless of my humiliation. There is definitely something between me and Pacey. My actions in the former were an unlikley contrast to how I truly felt. If only I could show him.

He's unusally downbeat as he drags Jen's suitcase, and throws it into the car.

"Hey!" She yells hoarsley.

"Long Night? Forgive me Lindley, but we've gotta be getting out of here." He says squinting, as the sun grows brighter by the second. "I didn't plan to sleep so late."

"I know, I'm sorry. I would've gotten you up when I got up but..."

"But?"

"Well the hottie hot bailboy asked me out for breakfast--"

"Nice." I say quietly.

"Have you seen him?" She questions pleadingly. "Hot." She mouths to me with a laugh.

"That's great Jen, but while you were getting you groove back, I was busy sleeping until twelve o clock in the afternoon. Emphasis on the twelve o clock part."He says sighing heavily.

"And how does that differ from how you usually spend your weekend?"She asks putting on a pair of sunglasses, and getting in the car.

"I find it amazing, how you find humor in all this Lindley. I mean especially since sadly, we're about find ourselves crashing back into a little thing I like to call--reality."

"Pacey..."

"Regardless if yours sucks a little less than the rest of us."

"This has been the worlds suckiest vacation." She says rubbing her forehead.

"Hey, I wanted to go to Canada." He retorts.

"It's not the country okay, it's us. All we've been doing is...worrying."

"I'm ashamed of you."

"What? Why?" She asks looking at him in vein shock through the window..

"Did you not have a shopping spree?"

"Yes."

"Did you not eat, sleep, in drink in gorgeous, slightly swanky hotel?"

"Yes."

"I rest my case. By my accounts, this was a fairly decent vacation." He says suddenly looking at me. I freeze up, and wait for him to say something. "Whaddya say Potter?" He asks warmly.

"Yeah, it was...decent. Minus the fact that I stayed in a good amount of the time." I say vaguely.

"And who's fault is that?" He asks lightly.

"Whatever." I say shaking my head, avoiding his eyes.

" Listen, at some point in time, are we actually going to talk about last night?"

"Yes but...I don't want an audience."I say with a nod to Jen. She looks at me with a confused smile, and nods back. Much to my amusment, Pacey laughs.

"I'm tellin' you, she's Christy, you're Janet."

"Pardon me?" I ask walking closer to him.

"Three is definitely company." He says inching closer to me, still laughing as if it was the first time in a long time. "I'm really glad you two came...you in particular."

"And why is that?" I ask almost hoarse.

"I think by...now, you know."He answers, his words slowly forming, as we suddenly stand inches away from another.

"Mm.." Is sadly all that falls out of my mouth,as my mind goes blank, and my senses grow bleak.

"Maybe when we get home..." He begins sweetly.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Lets go!" She says, barely coherent to our ears as she taps on the window. "Let's...blow this pop stand, or whatever."

"We can.." He tries.

"Audience, remember?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"Right. We'll talk." He says with a wink. "I'll have my people call your people."

"Shut up." I say more relieved than agitated.

"As my distractingly beautiful co-star put it--lets blow this pop stand."He says getting in the car, and fastening his seat belt. Jen does the same.

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm distracting." She says simply, smiling at the complement.

"Now who's in voyeuristic despair?" I ask dryly opening the car door.

"Well, there's beautiful...and then there's absoloutely gorgeous." He says looking ahaed, then at me. I can't remember ever trying so hard not to smile in my life.

"Still me." Jen remarks to my previous comment.

"Everybody ready to go?" He asks sqeezing the steering wheel.

"Can I sit in front?" I ask abruptly.

He looks over at her, as she shrugs.

"Sure." She says slightly yawning, and climbing in the backseat.

"Ouch!" Pacey exclaims, as her foot grazes his head."There's other ways to do that you know."

"I need some more sleep anyways." She says leaning her head against the window, as I situate myself in the front.

"Buckle up." He says happily. "Saftey first."

"Right." I reply.

He chuckles as we finally pull off.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

All is quiet, until Pacey decides to turn on the radio. Now blasting, some alt rock song ends and another begins as I look at him, eyebrows raised.

"Someones trying to sleep." I say.

"Right." He says turning it down a little.

"How long have we been driving?" I ask.

"About an hour."

"Great. Only hours to go." I say dryly.

"Si."

"So did you phone your dad this morning?" I ask. "Or, are we just going to give him a surpise welcome home party? For ourselves that is."

"Ahoy."

"Ahoy?"

"What?"

"I think you know that's not spanish."I say slapping his arm.

"It isn't?" He asks seeming genuinely confused.

"It's more along the lines of pirate." I answer." So what'd he say?"

"Just that he was expecting it. Whatever the hell that means."

A hint of anger's in his voice. I have to do something, before he lets himself get upset.

"Don't worry." I say on the limb, brushing his cheek. He quickly looks at me in surprise.

"Jo.."

"The road!" I warn, as we swerve by a speeding car.

"Right--that thing that we're driving on."He says shaken up.

"Sorry." I say quietly.

"It's fine I'm--I'm not worried you know."

"Good."

"Yeah, I'm ready to face the music."

"As in--"

"As in--I'm staying."

"Really?" I ask happily.

"Really." He answeres.

"So...you're letting them put you on meds?"

"Nope."

"I assume you have a plan."

"Nope. I am feeling a bit more upbeat."

"Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean everything is perfectly fine, I mean you can still have a chemical imbalance." I say, hardly choosing my words.

"You think I have a chemical imbalance?"

"Well, isn't that what depression is?"

"Joey--"

"I'm just saying you might want to consider.."

"I don't want to talk about it Jo." He says a space between every word.

"But--Fine. Whatever." I say glancing outside.

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" He asks joyfully.

"Yes." I sigh.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

More hours seem to breeze by, as Jen takes the wheel. We all talk and joke, between stops. Our final stop at yet another convient store will be the last until we get home. Pacey goes in and comes out with a bag of sodas and a teen magazine, which I would usually frown upon, but they're the only missing link, to a seemingly perfect day.

"Did you get me a diet coke like I asked?" Jen asks scanning the bag.

"Of course. Joey you have a regular coke somewhere in there." He says getting in the backseat. "Now, onto more important things. They have this hilarious quiz in here--"

"No." We both respond in unison.

"What? Why not?"

"No one wants to take some stupid ninth grade quiz Pacey."I say reaching in the bag.

"Jen?" He asks.

"Oh, I'm sorry Pace, but my arms are tired from driving so much."She says pointedly.

"You don't need your arms." He says leaning closer to the front.

"Apparently." She say rubbing her right arm.

"I'm taking over in an hour, so don't worry your pretty little head."

"I wish Joey could drive." She says.

"Damn." I say wryly."Life can be an enormous bitch."

"It sure can." She says eyeing me.

"What are you looking at me for?"I ask laughing.

"Enough. There is a quiz that needs to be taken." Pacey chimes in.

"Maybe later." I say opening the ice cold can.

He scoffs.

"Turn the radio back on."He says bitter, leaning back in his seat.

"As you wish." Jen says looking at us both with a smile.

Narrowing my eyes, I look back at Pacey. He smiles.

"Oh, boy."He says with a chuckle.

"Did you hear us lat night?" I ask.

"Hear you what?" She asks quizically. I immedietely regret my words.

"Umm." Pacey says loudly.

"Hear you what?" She asks again, as we drive off.

"Go to the bathroom." I say mentally slapping myself.

"No." She says slowly.

"Just checking." I say tucking my hair behind my ear. Pacey just laughs.

"Okay." She says looking ahead. "I'm not even going to ask."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Early morning rears its beautiful head, as the sun slowly reveals itself. I don't remember falling asleep, but it doesn't matter since I'm certain we're back in Massachussetes, if not Capside by now. Pacey has been driving all night, and it shows as he tiredly looks ahead at the road, his eyes batting shut every so often.

"How's it going?" I ask yawning and stretching my arms.

He doesn't anwser.

"Pacey?" I ask.

"Hmm." He says somber.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He chuckles lightly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Are we in Capeside?"

"Yep." He says sadly.

"That's a good thing right?" I question.

"I honestly, do not know. But, we're about to find out, now aren't we."

"I guess so." I say looking back at Jen, who's again asleep.

"I'm the one that's supposed to be depressed right?" He jokes. "Depression-- may cause drowsiness, and fatigue?"

"No, that's tylenol I think."

"Right. She's been sleeping alot."

"We all have. Maybe we're all depressed."

"I can hook you up with a prescription."He says upbeat."After I get mine that is."

"It would be appreciated."I say aimless.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

My heart drops as we pull up to Jen's house. Gradually it sinks in. We're back.

"Well, we're here." He says looking back at Jen, who's expression is fearful.

"Goodie." She says swallowing hard, before getting out of the car.

We just sit and wait as she opens the screen door, and knocks. Grams opens the door, her expression serious.

"Uh, oh." Pacey says sypathetically.

Jen looks back at us sorrowfully before entering the house of doom, as grams looks at us disapointed and angry.

"Well, off to the Potter's humble abode eh?"

"Yep." I say with a heavy sigh. "Can't wait."

TBC: a.s.a.p.:) Thanks for the reviews:D


	10. There's No Place Like Home

A/N: Hmm..I don't do alot of these lol. First, thanks for the reviews:D This chapter is a bit different since it is going to be from anothers persons POV besides Joey's. It's not gonna happen in the next, so it's kind of temporary. Anywho it's a set-up for the nextchap so read on kind people.

**There's No Place Like home**

**  
**I watch impatiently, as the clock finally stikes 11:00. Ever since it hit 10:45, my attention has been focused on the long hand, and the short hand. There's no particular reason I can convey, other than to witness a change in my day, be it small. I've been trapped in the house for the whole day, thanks to my previous attempt of getting an extended vacation, be it also small. Nevertheless, my attempt was not only for myself, but for a close friend of mine. I suppose I wanted to be in support of him when I thought he needed me the most. When he asked me to come--Without much hesitation, I agreed. There was no surprise when he asked her to come along, though there was a hint of jealousy. 'Why did he need her too?', I admit to silent wonderment of his purposel to bring her along, though I happily agreed. 'Maybe we could become friends' was my simplification on the matter as I gave him a smile, and turned up the brand new a/c.

There is no denying it--Fun was had. I got to go shopping, and get some killer clothes in the process. I wish Joey would have come along, it may have been more fun. Afterall, if I didn't have to hear Pacey ask me 'Are you done yet? For the forthy-ith time, my day would have been made. Maybe if I hadn't had to bed with Joey also, I mean I love her to pieces, but never had I imagined to be sleep-kneed in the side all night.. My back hurt like hell in the morning, though I was unearthly quiet about it. The next night was different. I felt the bed shake as she quietly removed herself, and rendezvoued over to Pacey's. I could barely hear them, as I slowly fell back into slumber-land. It was none of my buisness, though to put it easy, I'm not exactly against dirt, dishing, and all in out nosiness. I still chose to sleep through what would inevitably be the beginning of a beautiful-not-without-problems-the-name-Dawson-comes-to-mind, realationship.

I bravely awaited, my long-waited, return to Grams. But once I was back...she said nothing. Not a word all yesterday, or today. Now, here I sit at the kitchen counter, needlessly counting the minutes, and sadly the hours. Unlike my partners in crime, I made no real attempts to call my worried guardian. Maybe that's why the guilt is killing me, as I'm unable to gather the nerve to leave the house. I figure, if she was to say a word to me, it would be to tell me I'm not to leave the house.

The long hand stops on one, as the short hand stubbornly remains on eleven. Grams enters the kitchen without so much as a nasty glare. Then...Oh there it is.

"Are you ever going to to me again?" I ask squeezing my coffee cup for dear life.

"Jennifer..."

"She speaks."I say sitting the cup down.

"What you did--"

"I know... I know, that I might as well build a live in bathroom in my room since I'm probably ging to be there for the rest of life" I say sighing. "and I also know that I'm still at risk for home-schooling, but Grams please understand that all of that wavers in comparison to the simple act of you not talking to me."

"Jennifer.." She says unrevealingly, as the phone rings.

"I'll get it." I say picking up the reciever.

"Hey, Jen" I hear a familar voice say.

"Hello...Jack." I say cautiously, looking at Grams.

"Have you seen Pacey today?" He asks.

"Um, no--no I haven't since he dropped me off yesterday."I say pressing the phone closer to me ear.

"Jen." She says stealing my attention.

"Excuse me." I say into the phone. "Yes?"I ask turning to her.

"The phone."

"Oh, I know, I know. The phone is a luxury, not a legacy. Time spent on it should be short, not forever." I say remembering a phrase my mother once said to me. I figure she got it from Grams.

"I meant you haven't quite earned your rights back, and the phone is one of them." She says sternly. "Now, say goodbye to Jack, and hang up my phone please."

My mouth drops, as Jack starts laughing.

"Shut up." I say quietly into the reciever.

"Listen, before you go..."He says.

"Yes.."

"Pacey's dad is furious."

"What?"

"Yeah, I came to return something he gave me like a week ago. I was cleaning my room and--"

"Yeah, yeah, get to the part about the furious father."

"Fine." He says wryly. "So, I go to his house to give it back and low and behold, his dad is standing on the porch walking back and forth on the phone."

"Whoa, he sounds pissed."

"Let me get to the point."

"Please do."

"Alright, so he's walking back and forth on the phone right, and before I can say something, his mother and... some guy, walks out of the house."

"Some guy?"

"Yeah, he looked about our age, maybe a little older."

"Okay, so maybe older-guy and Pacey's mother makes a rare apperance outside of the house and then...?"

"Then, Doug follows."

"You know, it was probably his cousin."

"Who?"

"The older guy. I went with him to this family thing, Pacey, not the older guy.He introduced me to him, and he said--very pretentiously I might add-- 'Hey'."

"Wow, that is pretentious."

"I know. So anyway, does he have really brown overly moosed hair?"

"No it was kind of scruffy."

"That's him!" I say loudly.

"Why do you think his cousin was there?"

"To get his carback." I answer, busily seaching my mind for answeres. Why wasn't Pacey there?

"Alright, maybe I should catch up. I know you guys went on a little road trip, thank to Andie taking the time to kindly inform me of such happenings, thanks to Dawson informing her of such happenings, but what does his cousin have to do with anything?"

"It was his cousin's car." I say looking at Grams, who's expression is blank.

"Suddenly it all makes sence." He replies.

"So what else happened?" I ask.

"So, I walk up to the porch, and Mr. Witter looks at me like he just saw a ghost or something."

"Why." I say with a chuckle.

"Couldn't tell you--but he looks at me and asks in that raspy voice of his "Where the hell is Pacey?"

"And you answered..."

"I said I didn't know but 'I wanted to return this'." He says, as I develope imagery of the situation.

"It's as If I were there."I say starting to laugh, as he does the same.

"I wouldn't be to quick to laugh." He says still laughing, but more nervously.

"And why is that?" I ask abruptly serious.

"I sort of told him that you might know."He says, I can almost hear him biting his fingers.

I just laugh.

"You did?" I say faking hapiness.

"I did." So you might want to bolt your doors.

"Ok um--I gotta go." I say rubbing my forehead avidly."I've gotta call Joey. I'll call you back."

"Alright, bye." He says hanging up.

"And what was that about?" Grams asks concerned.

"I don't--Pacey didn't go home yesterday." I say trying to remember her phone numer.

"Oh, lord." She says, her hand grazing her cheek. "I hope that boy is alright."

"So do I." I say quietly. "Can I make another call? It's really important."

"Who are you calling?" She asks as I finally remember the number, and begin dialing it.

"I'm calling Joey." I answer, again sighing."Maybe he told her where he was going, when he was dropped her off."

"Well I have to go upstairs for a moment, tell me what happens."She says still concerned as she walks out.

"No, problem." I say whispering as the phone rings and rings. What's taking so long? Come on pick up, pick up.

"Hello?" A voice asks anxiously as if it hadn't been her first call.

"Bessie?" I ask awkwardly. I've never called their house before.

"Who is this?" She asks.

"This is Jen--Lindley, I was wondering if Joey was free at the moment?" I ask, assuming she had work up to her ears.

"No actually, she's not here." She answeres disenchanted. "Do you have any idea where she is?" She asks worry dominating her tone.

Oh, no.


	11. Go

**Go**

**(Yesterday)**

Sleepily, I glance out the window as we pull up to my open house.

"I guess this is it." He says.

"I suppose so." I say with a heavy sigh.

"Before you..." He begins, as he leans in to give me a kiss.

"Pace.." I whisper out, as his lips grace mine.

All I imagination escapes me, as he deepens the kiss. Leaning forward, my body comes closer to his, as bravely to myself, I attempt to gain control. He hesitantly pulls back a little, as I instantly miss the warmth I felt from his closeness. Silently, I know there's nothing more I can do, as I pull back too.

"What?" I ask sadly, and so low, I now wonder if he heard me.

"Nothing." He says matching my tone.

"It's not nothing Pacey, why did you...?"

"Kiss you?" He asks solemn.

"Stop...kissing me."I say looking at him then my fingers. I didn't know my nailpolish had worn off.

"You wanted me too?"He asks, with a clarifying gaze.

"I kissed you back didn't I?" I ask coyly, still uneasy inside.

"Yes you did."He says smiling to himself. "So...what are we doing here Potter?"

"I don't--I mean, what do you want to do?"

"Right now?" He asks, the implied--well, implied.

"No, not right now." I say narrowing my eyes. "You know...in general."

"In general" He questions, looking ahead.

"Yes." I say patiently.

"How did this turn to me, you know what I want."He says looking at me exasperated.

"No I don't." I retort, looking at the floor.

"Well, I figured that when I kissed you...that night."He says, barely above whisper. "I thought maybe you would have been a little supicious."

"Of what?"

"I knew we were gonna have to talk about this." He says exhaling, as he tilts his head back on the seat. "I just never quite imagined the enormous amount of--I don't know if it's fear, or just plain guilt that plagues me, as we do said talking."

"Okay, all I heard was the word 'guilt' and...'fear'. But I would like to know a little more about this guilt."I say looking at him, eyebrows scrunched.

"Being back in Capeside." He says, with a humorless laugh. "It's just reminding me of what I can't have."

"And what's that Pacey?"

"You. I can't have you."

"What?" I ask with a dry laugh. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that you and I--whatever you've decided we are could never happen, and one word just about sums it up."

"Really?" I ask sardonic.

"Really."

"What word is that Pacey?"

"Dawson."

"That's not a word, that's a name."I say stubbornly, folding my arms, as his words sink in.

"Still..."He drifts.

"I'm not even with Dawson anymore."

"I'm sure he agrees. In his script, the two of you are meant to be together forever and ever. Soulmates remember. All persuers, and or best friends not included."He says sorrowfully.

"What do I say to that Pacey?" I ask as the car gets dead silent. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. Just...go, Bessie's probably getting ready to snap. I'm sure Alexander is back home by now."

My heart drops as my own words fail me. I have nothing to accomany him, other than what was said rang true, and the both of us know it, though only one of us is admitting it at the moment.

"That's not true."

"Alexander isn't back?"

"No, what you said about Dawson. He obviously doesn't want to be with me, and--"

"And since he doesn't want to be with you--you don't want to be with him."He says simply, almost automatically pissing me off beyond belief.

"No." I say scoffing. "Look, things ended between us. I don't want to be with him."

"Then what do you want?"He asks, developing some warmth is his cold questionaire.

"I want...I want.." I say, searching for the right words,but there aren't any. There's just the truth. My truth.

"Joey?"He asks shutting his eyes."What do you.."

"You. I want you, I want us." I say gradually, realizng my words, as they felt like perfection. It was exactly how I felt.

He shifts uncomfortaly, as he struggles to release himself from his seatbelt.

"Just a minute." He says, as he finally gets out of the seatbelt. "Come here." He whispers pulling my face to his. I can't help but smile.

"You know, Bessies expecting me."I say faking seriousness.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll manage without you for a few more minutes."

"Few more minutes?" I question with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." He says pulling me into another deep kiss.

He again, pulls back.

"What?" I ask.

"Let's keep going." He whispers.

"Pacey--"

"What? I'm serious."

"So am I Pace. I mean, It was fun while it lasted but, it's time to go home." I say slightly opening the car door. "Okay?" I ask, hoping for his agreence.

"Sure." He says surprisingly relaxed. "Goodbye, Joey."

"Bye, Pacey." I say getting out. "Wait...you are going home aren't you?"I ask before shutting the door.

He sighs.

"Would it make you feel better if I said I was?"

"Yes." I say through gritted teeth." But it would make me feel even better if it were true."

"I hate to dissapoint you but--"

Lovely.

"Pacey! I thought you said you were going go home and face--"

"I never said that. I said I was thinkin about it."

"And?"

"Thought about it."

"So?"

"I'm not going home. I might drop off the car but...after that, I'm gone."He says, again pissing me off as I climb back into the car and slam the door

"I'm beginning to think you're just doing this to get attention."I say wryly, giving him the evil eye.

"What?"

"You heard me."I say lightly. "Now, I'm going to go in the house. But you, misguided boy that is my friend, will be going home, returning this lovely luxury that they simply call 'car', and you will in fact face your parents."

"I underestemated you." He says eyeing me. "I appreciate the concern, but going back would just be admiting that I have a problem.Which by the way, to them, only exists inside my head--and that's just not true."

"What about school?" I ask wanting to add something else, but deciding to wait for his answer.

"Failing miserably thank you very much."

"You are not. Just two weeks ago, you got like a B-"

"Yes, thanks to your help."

"That's it. I'll help you from now on. Just like I'll help you deal with whatever's going on inside your head." I say reasurring him.

"No." He says shaking his head. "Can't get away from the Witter household can I?"

"Pacey--How am I supposed to help you, when you don't even want to try?"

"I don't want help Potter, I should have done this a long time ago."

"Yeah, But--"

"Can you not see what I'm getting at here?" He asks stressingly.

"No--No I can't can you?"

"I'm not living with that man for another second."He says looking at me pained. My eyes dart to the window as I try to hide the tears that remain frozen in my eyes. "

"I see." I say nodding.

"It has nothing to do with you..." He says, seeming affected.

"You're supposed to be thinking for two now remember? There's a you and me now."

"Right." He says to himself. "You're absoloutely right."

"So what are we going to do here Witter?"

"You should go in." He says blankly.

"Bessie isn't even here." I say looking over at the empty space where the truck is usually parked.

"Go."He says.

"No." I say folding my arms again.

"Fine." He says starting the engine.

"Pacey, stop it."

"I'm serious. Either get out--or I'm takin you with me."

"I guess you're taking me with you." I say stubbornly. "Because I'm not getting out of this car until you say you're staying."

"So you want me to lie to you. Fine, I'm staying"

"I hope you don't run out of gas." I say hinting to the fact that we're gonna be sitting here for a long time.

"I'll get some on my way."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Okay."

"Alright." I say calling his bluff.

"You ready?" He asks.

"Sure." I say shrugging.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" He asks retorically, his foot hitting the peddle hard.

"Pacey!" I exclaim as we quickly drive off. I thought he was joking.

"So...What do you think about Texas?"

Tbc a.s.a.p


	12. Beaches

A/N: Thanks for the reviews ya'll:D This is a rather short update, and it's mostly Joey's thoughts, and a tad fluffay, but I'll be back with an update waay sooner than last time. Next chap will be a turning point so sit tight, and read on...

Beaches

I listen distantly, as the ocean waves crush against the icy shore. Once again I breath out, as frost playfully escapes my mouth, and introduces itself to the wind. Without any particular thought in mind, I trace the inner sanctom of my frozen, now paley shaded palms, drawing small circles. I feel as if I've slept a thousand years, as my body becomes unordinarily heavy. Closing my eyes, I quietly find myself in thought again. What could be taking him so long? I've been sitting here for what feels like an eternity...or twenty minutes. Though with hardly anyone in sight, it's nice to be alone with him. Wherever he is.

"Hey, Jo." He says walking up.

"Hey." I say simply, feeling a smile coming on.

"Sorry to keep you in suspense."He says handing me a warm taco.

"Pacey...I told you I don't eat these." I say uneasily, focusing on the seeping grease that begins to leak from the wrapper.

"You can have my burrito." He offers sweetly, as he finishes taking the food out of the bag.

"Nevermind."I say harmlessly, a smile happily arriving.

"Again, I'm sorry it took so long." He says quietly.

"No, it's fine." I say reasurring him, as his gaze, beautifully absent, follows the waves. "Are you okay?" I ask suddenly feeling the need to hug myself, as the breeze passes like a nosey stranger.

"Are you cold?" He asks coming closer.

"Just a little." I say, surpessing a yawn.

"Here you go." He says smiling, as he wraps the somewhat light, brown coat around my shoulders.

"Thank you." I say sniffling.

"You're very welcome." He says humbly, as he positions himself beside me, atop of the car. "Jeez

"I know right." I say chuckling.

"So, where to next?" He asks rubbing his hands together.

"I don't--Where do you want to go?"I ask cheerfully.

"Well I want to go to six flags but then...That costs money." He says half chuckling, as a seriousness overtakes his demeanor.

"How much money do we have left exactly?"

"When did you start speaking french?"

"Pacey--"

"Somehwere in the lower hundreds."He says heavily sighing.

"That's enough for tickets." I say in pure jest.

"You think we can pass as kids?" He says with a small laugh. "Cause kids get in cheap."

"Nah." I say processing."So, what are we gonna do?"

"Couldn't tell ya." He says, in an I-warned-you tone.

I'm trying-- and with effort I might add-- to concentrate on what we're going to do, and where we're going to go from here. Truthfully, and not within my usual nature, I've avoided any analization of the matter. Curiously, I wonder if he knows that I have no real plans of leaving him.

"Hmm..."He says obviously in thought. "There's this carnivale going on a little later...care to join me?" He asks softly, as he tugs my hair.

I just nod.

The small frustration within me builds, as I find it hard to pretend as if everything is just peachy keen. He's told me time and time that's he's not going back, putting me in the oddest position. I'm deciding to stay with him, and continue on with this journey, as I finally find myself understanding him, and somhow wanting him to escape. I don't know why, or even if it's right. Bu what I do know is that I can't let him continue running, even if a big part of me seems to want him to.

I laugh to myeslf, as I think back to when I was a just child, and tried to fly off that bridge. It was easier to escape and pretend that I could fly, because I knew that just with imagination, alone it felt possible. But deep down, in the loneliest chambers of my heart, I knew there was only a small chance. When looking up at the sky, I would be scared to move. Like my hopes, it was too surreal, and looking down at the ground I suddenly noticed how far it was. It slowly began to frighten me more and more each day. In my life now, emotionally not much has changed.

I know that he can't truly leave. I don't have to be deputy Doug to realize such things. But I also know that he's screwed up fiercly this time, and his father likely isn't just going to let it go this time. So where does that leave me? I wonder. I know that if he goes, whether it be by his choice, or his dad's choice, something in me will gradually weaken beyond my power..Such another weary dissapointment will not only be another pinch of the heart, it'll likely break.

"So carnival it is?"He asks chewing.

"Carnival it is."I reply.

"Can't wait." He says sighing, abrubtly absent.

"Are you okay?" I ask again.

"Yeah." He responds nodding, avoiding my eyes.

"You sure?" I ask intently.

"Certain."

"If there's anything bothering you Pacey--"

"There's nothing wrong. I'm fine." He says quickly. "You're here with me...so what could I possibly be upset about? Got it?"

"Got it." I say, as he quickly gives me a kiss.

I know he's not fine. That's become unfortunetely obvious to me now. A sadness no longer just surrounds him, It embodies him.

"We'll leave in a little while." He says pulling me closer, as warmth kindly wraps around us both. "Right now, I just want to relax and watch the waves ya know?"

"Okay." I say peacfully closing my eyes.

Though pretending has never been a task, in recent time, it's become one. But as I sit within his embrace, I'm reminded of that time. His breath his soft against my skin, as he holds me even tighter. I smile to myself as I realize...there's no need to pretend.

tbc...a.s.a.p


	13. What you don't know

**What You Don't Know...**

My heart continues to race at a disarming speed, as I lose yet another battle to slow it down. I've tried breathing in and out-- but much to my misfortune, nothing has worked. Clearing my throat for the third time, I await a fearful voice to adhear from the other end. Shakily I grip the phone, hoping for some sort understanding, perhaps even forgiveness. False hope has been a temporary companion, ever since I slid a lonely quarter into the thin slot. Stressfully, I exhale feeling more and more vunerable by the mini-second. Then...

"Hello?" She asks, with urgency.

I freeze.

"Hello?" She asks louder.

"Bessie?" I ask timidly.

"Jo!" She exclaims, her voice cracking a little."Joey--You guys it's Joey!"

Damn. You guys?

"Bess?" I ask interrupting, as other voices chime in, either angrily, or exitedly.

"Joey, where are you guys?"She asks, as I pick up on her controlled, easy-going tone.

"You guys?" I question, prolonging the obvious.

"Yes, as in you and Pacey."

"How do you know we're together?" I ask pushing whatever luck I had left.

"Josephine Potter, if I don't see you walk in this door before dawn, I will make it my personal mission to slap your face on a milk carton, send out a search party, have them bring you home, and slowly but surely make your life a living hell. Do I make myself clear?"

So much for understanding.

"You don't have to scream at me." I say absently, looking over my shoulder for Pacey.

"Screaming? No that was not screaming. This is screaming!"

"Are you done?"

"Not even close."

"Well, if you would just calm down for a second, I could explain to you our whereabouts. Not to mention my well-thought out plan for a permenent stay. At Home that is."

"Do you know how many people you two are hurting?"

"Hurting?"

"Yes, hurting. I mean, Pacey's mother is worried sick."

"Don't--"

"And me."

"Bessie, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are. Now, when are you guys gonna be back here? And where are you?"

"I'll explain everything when we get back."

"I hate to inform you, but Pacey's dad has already sent out a couple of guys to hunt you guys down."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."She says exasperated.

"Damnit." I shrill quietly, squeezing the phone even tighter as I slide down the booth in defeat.

"Where are you Joey?"She asks more softly.

"I can't tell you. It's only gonna make things worse."

"Okay, just get back here because--"

"Who all is there with you?"

"Everone you can think of." She says after a heavy sigh.

"Like..."

"Well, all the other kids are here. Dawson, Andie, Jack...Jen, who by the way you may want to make an apology to when you get back."

"Why?" I ask gradually.

"Because, presently she happens to be in in a not-so pleasant grilling session."

"What?"

"All the adults seem to be under the impression, that she in fact knows something that we don't. Which judging by the mini-scule information that she has revealed is oh say alot."

"Great."

"Oh, you are gonna be in soo much trouble when you get back."

"Well, that's become increasingly clear. Look, I'm having a hard time getting Pacey to come back home."

"Why?"

"Ask his parents."

"Is this Joey?"He asks raspily, shaking my confidence.

No.

"Yes."

"This is Pacey's father." He says stern." Now you listen, and you listen good. I want my boy back home, and soon. Now if he doesn't want to come home, you can tell him that I'm more than prepared to make sure he does so."

Umm.

"Yes, sir" I say my chest caving in.

"Now, if he's trying to avoid coming on home, and facing his problems, then I suggest you don't uphold him in that."

"I'm not upholding him in anything." I say, feeling the angst coming on.

"Well if I've wrongly accused you, than I'm sorry. But you've gotta help us help him, by getting him back home."

"You consider that helping him?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Putting him on medication isn't gonna solve anything." I say, suddenly not finding much sense in my own words. I suppose they would help...if he needed them. No, that seems a little...

"I mean don't you think that's a little drastic?"

"So he told you that huh?"

"Yes, he did." I say, still on the defense.

"I guess he also told you that he's severly depressed."

"I wouldn't say he was severly depressed."

"You wouldn't?"

"No!" I say standing. "I mean--yes, he may have a minor chemical embalance or--"

"What do you know about depression?"

"Enough." I say already ready to throw in the towel. There would be no winning this conversation. Afterall...I am talking to an adult.

"Both he and his mother have reason to believe that he is." He bites.

Apparently he likes to argue.

"And why is that?" I ask hoping for a straight answer.

"Ask him."

"I will." I retort. Then focus my attention on the busy, but faceless stangers that pass by two by two. His absense has become even more lengthy, as a wave of worry, and loneliness crash into my heart.

"Hello?" She asks, uneasily grabbing my attention.

"Yeah?" I ask gradually.

"It's Jen"

"Hey."

"Hey." She says warmly. "Where the hell are you two!"

"Texas." I say aimless, then immediately eating my words. "Don't tell them that though."

"Harrasment is illegal my friend."

"I know. What all have you told them?"

"Well--" She says, as Pacey out of nowhere, approaches.

"Who are you talking to?" He asks solemnly.

"Um..." I say quickly hanging up the phone, as I can hear a loud 'Hey!' from Jen.

"Who was that?"

"Jen. I called her to see what was up."

"What was up?" He asks with a chuckle.

"Yep."

"And..."

"And--what?"

"What was Up?"He asks taking some change from his jean pocket.

"Everyone's wondering where we are."

"There's a shock." He says looking around. "You didn't say where we were did you?"

"No." I answer. "Did you have fun?"

"No. This one kid--I mean guy kept on bumping me--constantly." He says initiating a walk forward. "There was like a hint of creepy intent in his eyes."

"Maybe I should've come with you."I say sypathetically.

"Ya think? There's no way I should've suffered alone."

"Sorry. So...how can I make up for it?" I ask, giddily taking his hands in mine.

"I wonder." He says whispering and pressing his forehead against mine.

"I know." I say kissing his forehead, then his cheek.

"Don't tease me Potter."

"How's about...The merry-go-round?"

"Oh, no, no, no, you owe me remeber? I don't owe you."

"I'm serious Pacey, I haven't been on one of those since--Well forever. Pleasee."

"Anything but that." He says pulling my waist to his.

"Fine. Go hit one of those...target things, and bring me back one of those...stuffed things."

"You, you, you. It's all about you isn't it."

"Did you really expect any different?"I ask satirically.

"Fine." He says sighing.

"Come on." I say pulling him over to the tent.

"Why don't we get somethimg to eat first?"

"Pacey."

"Joey."

"Fine. But I will own one of those gargantuan bears before the night is over."

"A promise, is a promise."

"Indeed."

Walking over to the popcorn stand, I purposely try to take it all in. Soon we'll be leaving, and sadly, only I, seem to be aware of such happenings. The chilled night air, and beautiful lights that illuminate wherever you turn buries itself deep within my memoires. I'll never forget this night, and how it felt. We've been here for hours, yet it doesn't even feel like it. He's given me a thousand kisses, and I'm never tired, or wanting of his touch. He's held my hand the whole time, except when he left for fair reason. Apparently bumper cars is his favorite passtime, though it isn't mine.

Now that he's back he's not letting go, as any and all cringes I felt melt away. Alas, I'll have to confront him. Hearing Bessie's voice almost immediately snapped me back into reality, and his father--well that just about yanked me out of any and all fantasy I may have been living in. Unready for his reaction, I know for sure he'll be mad. God, I hope Jen doesn't tell anyone where we are. I have to be the one to do this, not them.

"Gracias." He says to the man, handing me a small bag, as we carry on.

"You okay?" He asks nudging me.

"Huh? Oh, Yeah. Yes, I am fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Trust me. I've never been better."I say, hoping he can see through the thin veil of the sentence.

"Good." He says simply. "Listen you um--You ready to go?"

"Kind of."

"Alrighty then, come on." He says taking my hand, as we head off to the car.

He smiles weakly, and opens the passenger seat door letting me in.

"After you."

"How feministic."

"Hey..." He begins, but stops as if he forgot what he was going to say, or as if he just doesn't care enough to finish it.

"No witty retortoic?"

"I'm afraid not."

"You feeling okay?" I ask placing my hand on his forehead.

"Peachy."

"So, where are you taking me."

"Funny choice of words considering..."

"Considering what?"

"I'm taking you--as you so cleverly put it to a motel."

"I'm sorry, did you just say you're taking me to a motel?"

"No?"

"I don't think so Pacey. I mean, do you even have enough money for--"

"A couple nights-- Yes."

"No way."

"Well, we need somewhere to sleep."

"Define sleep." I say eyeing him.

"Don't be so classist." He says starting the engine.

"It's not about class, which by the way according to Capeside's law of breeding, I'm anything but."

"You've really gotta stop bragging around me Potter."

"I was reffering sleeping arrangments."

"Stop obsessing. We'll probably be in seperate beds as per usual. Unless..."He says grinnning.

"We have to go home." I blurt out numbly.

"What was that?"

"I said...We have to go home"

"No we don't."

"We don't have a choice."

"Alright." He whispers shutting off the engine. "Now, I'm gonna ask you again, and I want the truth this time. Who were you talking to?"

"Pick a name any name." I say exasperated.

"Hmm...Bessie."

"Try--Bessie, your father--Oh, and Jen. Though the there wasn't really much spoken with the latter--"

"What!"He asks angrily.

"What--Why? How did this occur?"

"I was talking to Bessie and all of a sudden he got on the line...then Jen."

He laughs harshly.

"And what did papa John have to say this time around?"

"He said some fairly interesting things."

"Such as?"

"Look, he's going to--or already has--Sent some of the guys to come out and find us."

"So? It's not like they know where we are so..."

"Right."

"I mean, unless you told them, which I know you didn't."

"No, I didn't."

"Good." He says inwardly cringing. "Damn."

"Are we going home?"I ask on edge.

"I don't..."

"Pacey, there gonna come get us sooner or later!"

"Let 'em. I don't care." He says harshly.

"Pacey..."

"I don't care!"He says, his voice cracking. "He can do whatever the hell he wants."

My hand touches his, but he immedientely pulls away. For the first time in a long time, there's nothing but silence. I again find myself fighting tears as I aimlessly reach over to the glove compartment. As if opening pandora' box, my eyes glare with intense curiosity. I never took notice of it before.

"You know they say..." I begin hoping to lighten the situation, and grab his attention. "You can tell alot about a person, by what you find in their glove comparment."

"What like maps?"He asks still brooding.

"No like..." I say mischieviously, pulling out a ziplock-type bag. "White...Stuff."I say holding it up for a closer look, as the street light does little as my replacment eyes in the darkness.

"What?" He asks with a light chuckle.

"What is this?" I ask handing it to him.

"I have no idea."

"Let's just put it back, it's...none of our business."

"And what were you doing in the glove compartment?" He asks leaning closer, rumaging through the junk filled space.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh my..." He says pulling out another ziplock bag.

"I think I know what that is." I say raising a brow.

"Well, well, well, looks like college boy has been spending money on other things besides text books and number two pencils."

"I'd say that was an understament." I say in a little in shock. "I can't believe he has drugs in his glove compartment."

"Where he lacks in creativity..."

"Pacey, this isn't funny."

"You're right." He says seriously. "Looks like he might be a little further into this than I would like to imagine."

"This may be part of the urgency for the car to be returned. So, are you gonna to tell your parents?"

"Fick."

"I'm guessing that's a no."

He pauses.

"Now what is this?"He asks pulling a card from the comparment.

"Credit card?"

"Looks like some sort of Id."

"It is some sort of Id." I add, taking the card.

"Who is... Kevin Mason?" I ask looking from him to the card "Is that your cousin?"

"No." He says softly, shaking his head, and once again looking over the card.

"You have no idea who he is?"

"Well, I don't exactly roam into the dark circles known as my cousin's friends and/or cliques." He says putting the card back into the glove compartment. "Unless I was drunk."

"Oh." I say for lack of better encouragment.

"However..."

"Yeah?"

"I do recognize him a little. Like maybe I've seen him somewhere recently."

"Think..."I say prodding him.

"Man, I know his face, I just can't quite put the face with the place."

I just nod.

"Wait...I know where he's from."

"Spill."I say half smiling.

"Suddenly it all makes sense." He says. "Looks like we're going home."

TBC...well you know the rest:D


	14. Will Hurt You

A/N: lol Superfan, I think you have esp or somethin :)... you'll see that they didn't quite make it home;) But thanks for reviewing guys, It means bunches to me. Now drumroll Here's one of the last installments to GTA, so read on kind people:D

**...Will hurt you**

It slowly becomes unbearable to not only imagine, but experience the situation that we hastily find ourselves in. Feeling a mount of scattered shame I bow my head, as others eyelids grow heavy, and the few people who stared dully but curiously at us for the excruciating hour, either rose from their chairs to leave the room, or simply fell asleep. All of this taking place of course after someone had the apparent task of asking us if we were "Brother/Sister" in a thin southern drawl, before abruptly walking out of the room, leaving a cold air of mystery. Finally, I hold my head up as if the sun is sure to rise, and a small but forced smile takes over my face. The officer that eyes me creepily I might add, returns the smile, and continues typing.

The sloshing of random paperwork, barely above whisper conversation, and relentless mouse clicking have become only a minor distraction. My focus has shakily balanced itself on a thin line of tension that treads between our spirits. His has become increasingly absent, as mine grows fragile. Once we were seated and questioned, his nervousness grew more apparent as he seemingly shut down, leaving me to answer the rest of the questions. I can't help but feel an overbearing rush of trite, as I re-think mine, and his emotions for the hundreth time.

I remain just...still, within my own personal prison, while worry seethes through my body, as even it grows weary. This was no longer the lighthearted twirling of invisible mustaches, and imaginative assumptions of our parental guardians reaction to our departure. Especially seeing as they were--if not highly predicatable--depressingly dull. Though, I believe Pacey had a little more concern in that area, than myself and Jen. To some affect, it has gone to far, but in the back of my mind I know it hasn't gone far enough. In the end this won't change anything, or anyone, I know. But I feel strangley optimistic, and more fearless, as I remember my stubborness once he said "Go." I new I wanted to be with him, whether we stayed or went.

A smile takes over my face again, as I find it no longer hurts to do so. I loved the beach, and the carnival. I loved everything he said, at all the perfect times. But, "It looks like we're going home" wasn't among them. I've on and off wanted him to consider going home and staying there in the process, but the reason for our abrupt return is quite the downer. The sad and somewhat confusing story is actually pretty simple. It's beginning of course is a similar, but less dangerous stance of a mild, Bonnie and Clyde retelling.

Boy "borrows" cousin's car with the help of a certain new york blonde. He along the way picks up a highly impressionable brunette, who by the way was told it was a patrol car that was being borrowed, not the beautiful but circumstantially myserious owned porche that it turned out to be. Boy then takes off with car, as the impressionable teenage girls hesitantly oblige. The fantasic three then crosses Mexican border, with almost no pretense, then make stay in a beautiful hotel suite. Boy kisses brunette girl, not that those details particulary matter in this situation. Boy makes calls, boy decides they all go home, much to their mixed feelings of happiness but light grief. Boy then drops off blonde, then tries to drop off brunette only to reveal he won't be staying.

Both him and the brunette girl quirrel, until he carelessly pulls off, revamping the adventure. With blonde girl gone, she leaves the brunette to deal with this on her own. Not that she minded, since... well only now does brunette girl realize her true feelings are much deeper than she imagined. Anyhow...Boy and brunette hit the beach, then the carnival, then went back to the car, quirrelled again, but the peace broker was an unfortunate one. The white suff turned out to be a familar substance, not entirely to the girl, but to her father. Cocaine was the unlikely surpise of the evening, found none other then in the glove compartment. Quickly, boy and girl races home, but get's stopped by the police on the account of well...racing. Speeding that is.

Unwittingly, the bag that I held jaw-droppingly within my palms, was again taken out and looked at, but never returned to it's original place. It sat obviously, and forgotten between the seats. Once we were pulled over, after the obvious discrimation of us being teens, and out 'that late at night' 'The dope' as Pacey jokingly called it, while we were removed from the vehicle, was confiscated and we were taken downtown. Which I'd rather had seen without the cuffs by the way. My heart drops as I go over the story once more. I can no longer ask myself how we got here. I hope he knows it's not his fault. I've yet to inform him of such truths, but the grim expression on his face tells me I'll have to say something sooner or later.

...I'll go for sooner.

Glancing over at his somber, but still magnetic profile, his eyes finally re-introduces themselves to mine. Dark, and unassuming they fixate on my hand, that lay frozen on the arm of the chair. He looks at me with a would-be smile and warmly covers it with his own. He clears his throat, and looks away.

"I'm sorry, Jo."He whispers sadly.

"This isn't your fault, Pacey."I respond, the apology making a stinging affect upon my ears.

"Believe me...This..."He says looking around. "Is undeniably my fault. I should've just gone home"

"I don't know Pace, I mean... maybe this was meant to happen...maybe it's a sign." I say shaking my head tirelessly.

"A sign of the hell...that is to come."He says deadpan, raising his hand to emphasise, then gradually letting it fall back onto mine.

"Shh.." I say looking around, holding back a much needed laugh.

"What? They can't exactly arrest you for profanity...Right?"

"Well, I'm slightly in tuned with the legal system..." I say folding my arms. "Daddy being in jail and all. As a matter of fact, you could say this situation is a bit too familar."

"Man I hate police stations--"

"As do I." I say pointedly, interrupting.

"I used to hang out at my dads station all the time when I was younger. Yeah, me and Dougie would just run around." He says fondly, a bright smile across his face. Naturally, I smile too.

"Oh, really?"I say leaning back, looking at him playfully, but skeptically. "And how come I've never heard of these play dates?"

And, Doug running around?

"It was one of the few times when my mother had something better to do than just sit at home, and watch the kids." He says laughing to himself, crossing over into nostalgia. "It would always be the hottest of days. I remeber beating the hell out of the candy machine, everytime it ate up one of my dollars."

"I can see that happening actually."

"Yeah, I would always get in trouble for running around stirring up trouble. Deleting files off of computers and...Well, you know stuff that any other eight year old kid would do."

"They had computers back then?"

Finally he laughs.

"From what I remember, that would be a yes."

"And by Doug running around with you...you mean chasing you around?"

"That would also be a yes."He says with a chuckle. "Happy, happy times."

"I'll bet. So why do you hate police stations?"

"Well, with the good comes the bad right?"He says stroking his chin with a dry laugh.

I study his face as he his demeanor immediately changes.

"Yeah.."I say quietly.

"Let's just say...after a particular run in with my father--In front of his buddies I might add--Well I really couldn't sit still."

I rest my head on his shoulder, for my own comfort and his.

"And now he's coming to pick us up."I say remembering the officer's long-distance call to Pacey's father, who was already on his way to Texas. Only now, he knows where we are.

"Looks like I'm finally going to see the inside of a juvenile facility after all."He says winking.

"Sounds inviting."I say looking up at his now energetic gaze.

"So, true."

"We only have... hours until he gets here."I say looking at his toy-like watch.

"Also true."

"So do we just sit here?"

"They have a vending machine over there."He says motioning to the discovered object.

"Great. Got a dollar or two?"

"I believe I gave you the spare change--you know while they were frisking me and all."

"Oh yeah." I say smiling. "That was pure comedy."

"The very root."

"Let me see..."I say reaching into my pockets.

"You didn't put the money in your sock or somethin'?" He asks looking at me as If I were a green rat. "I mean, If they found it they would've take it."

"Exactly." I say giving him a knowing look. "And they didn't find the money, so just...hush."

"I'm starving."

"I'm still a little full from the popcorn, though that may be wearing off in the next thirty minutes or so." I say reaching into my other pocket. "And I don't have on socks."

"Well, I for one, am famished."

"Here's...something." I say pulling out a small crumpled note.

"What's that?"He asks.

Slowly I unfold the single page, as the navy blue ink in which the careful words were written in becomes more vivid. It's of course my mothers words of wisdom that not to long ago, I read over as If it were the very scriptures of the bible.

"My mother wrote this...before she died."

"Oh..."He says in astonishment. "If you don't mind me asking--?"

"What does it say?"

"Yeah."

"H-Here."I say, hesitantly handing him the small paper. Only Bessie has shared this with me.

He reads the complicated cursive as if it were fine print.

"This is beautiful." He says deeply and genuine.

"Yeah...Yeah it is."I say finding my fingers more and more interesting. Suddenly, he felt a bit more closer than before.

My body hasn't felt this heavy, since my previous stay in _La Quinta Inn_. Except this time, instead of a bed, I have my boyfriends shoulder...and a chair. I have no clue of how long we've been asleep, but...I'm about to find out.

"Excuse me, Pacey is it?" The young officer asks.

"Yep." He says sitting up, shaking off the sleep.

"Well, your dad and the guy that says he owns the car is on their way in, so you might wanna get on up."

"Where are they?" I ask.

"Right there." he says pointing to the door as both Pacey's dad, and his cousin walk into the room.

His cousin looks nothing like I'd imagined. He's tall like I pictured, but incredibly thin, only to be covered up by an oversized suite that I assume he's more that used to wearing. Blonde, and reeking of snobbish good humor he approaches.

"We meet again." He says to him, as Pacey rises from his seat automatically on guard, to confront his polar opposite.

But before he could say anything...

"Excuse me, are you Kevin Mason?"Another officer intervenes.

"Who, me?" John Witter asks.

"No, no the kid."He says pointing, as tension rises between the four men.

"Did you say Kevin Mason?"The dear cousin asks.

"Yes."

"No...but I know him...why do you ask?"

"Because that's the guy that the car belongs to. He's also a known felon and drug dealer."

John Witter's expression grows more and more shocked, yet vunerable.

"What's he talkin about Danny?"He asks dumbfounded.

"I borrowed it from the guy...I had no idea he was a criminal."

"Is that so?" The young officer asks.

"Would it be alright if we asked you a couple of questions?"The other officer asks taking his arm.

"Apparently I don't have a choice."He says following the officer into another room.

"Pacey..."Father Witter begins.

"Looks like cousin Danny isn't as innocent as we all thought huh?"Pacey asks cheerfully, purposely trying to deflect any and all attention from himself.

"Something tells me you have bigger things to worry about." He says solemn.

Pacey's smile fades fast, as he looks over at me.

"You too Joey."He says, remaining solemn.

"You ready?"I whisper, coming to his side.

"Yeah."He says gazing at me, then wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a close embrace."Yeah, I think I am."

"You two should get to the car." Mr. Witter says, after uncomfortably clearing his throat.

It's finally time to go home...For real this time.

TBC a.s.a.p


	15. Gone

**Gone**

Yet another break ends, as a second hour of commercial free music begins blaring through my radio. Not always one to listen to the more chart driven music, I happily tuned into this station. Slowly becoming one of my better ideas, they play the inevitable flashback song, to which my ears welcome the melodic strings with ease. I know this song like the back of my hand, though I haven't heard it in a while. The words freely melt the icyness that substitues my emotions, as they happily take me back to the first time I heard them.

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road._

_Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go._

_So make the best of this task and don't ask why._

_It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time._

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._

_I hope you had the time of your life._

For the first time in days, a smile creeps across my face, as I aimlessly walk around what has become my dungeon. It's an upsettingly tough feat, being that I've been grounded for ions to come. The days before this one has been anything but simple, considering my daily routine hasn't changed, only grown harder. It seems my dear sister bears no true understanding of my motive for leaving the increasingly stepford household. Simply put--I needed a break, among other things I suppose. But I couldn't delve much into my own sordid reality, when I was recieving my punishment.

Today is Saturday, our most busy day--besides Sunday of course. I've been constantly on my toes, at Bessie's beck and call, mostly out of pure guilt. As for school, my wonderful sister kindly sent in a sick note not too long after we set out for our little adventure, putting me in no real trouble as far as school is concerned. There was a breath of relief once I heard the news, but the opposite, when I was handed all the homework that Andie delivered daily on my behalf. As far as my luck goes, I'm not exactly surprised at how busy and particularly successful the B&B has been as of late, even though we just opened not too long ago. Especially since it's fall.

Though I do have some genuine concern, or shock of how so many people are still so upset over our little trist. So upset that Jen and Grams are still on bad terms, as am I with Bessie, and even Bodie. Andie, the possibly more understanding of our bunch has been--well--just that. Though the kind friendliness and advice I've gained from her, is privvy to subside being that she still has no idea about mine and Pacey's budding relationship. I haven't been able to talk much to Jack, and Dawson has been fairly laid back. I told him everything--well everything that I could tell him without the our worlds coming to a crashing halt I suppose.

Though he seemed to understand, and nearly agreed with both Pacey and my measures for escape, there was still a bit of resentment, as we both seemed to use the conversation for seperate reasons. The common one being to maintain an idea of each others life, and maintain a frienship. Though I cringe when I think of what any of us will be once evrything goes back to normal--whatever that is, and they find out about me and Pacey. I can't help but chuckle with slight embarresment as I seem to mentally jump the shark everytime I think of what Pacey and I...are. I mean, I haven't talked to him since they dropped me off.

The true punishment was cast when I was practically barred from talking, let alone seeing him. It's been a week, and I've already written him two letters, and called the Witter home, before sheepishly hanging up of course. But there's been nothing from him. No random calls from a pay phone, or any other device that I've pondered hopelessly, that he could use to get in touch with me. He's yet to even write me back. Jen, Dawson, Jack, and Andie have also felt John Witters wrath when it comes to his youngest son. Not even they can see him. An unfair sentencing considering that if it wasn't for Pacey, he would have never found out about his bottom feeding nephew.

The nephew--in true soap opera fashion--lied to his parents about college, in which he dropped out, and used whatever money they gave him on drugs, and began practically living in his drug dealers car. The one he drove up to the gathering, and the one Pacey 'borrowed'. Lawfully, cousin Danny is more than paying for his demons I hear, but Pacey is probably recieving the brunt of frustration and pain from Mr. Witter. "The junkie nephew, and the thieving son." He whispered bitterly on the drive home. Part of me fears how bad his punishment was, seeing as how I haven't seen him touch daylight since we've been back. No one seems to know what's going on, being that it's a 'private matter'. I remember Jen quoting Grams once at lunch.

Hmm...the song has been off for a while now.

"Great." I say after sighing, and walking over to the radio to turn it off.

"Jo." She says opening the door, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Yes?" I ask wryly.

"Lose the attitude alright." She says lightly. "I just came to let you know that Jen is outside wating for you."

About a week and a half ago I would have found a couple things wrong with that sentence, but then...this isn't a week and a half ago.

"Tell her I'm coming." I say picking up a ponytail holder off the floor, that slipped from my wrist.

"Let me think about that..." She says playfully stroking her chin as if in thought.

"Move." I say pushing past her, registering the rare showcase of sarcasm.

"Glad you caught on."She says cheerfully shrugging.

"Close my door." I shout, now in the living room.

"Fine." She says faint.

"Hey." She says warmly, as I walk outside and shut the door.

"Hey." I say immediately digging my hands into my jean pockets, as the cold bares no remorse.

"Well, I bet you're wondering why I'm here." She says apparently unassuming.

"Not really." I say with a light chuckle, looking down.

"Yes you are." She says quickly. "Now..." She says looking around gradually. "So...yeah, I'm rounding up the gang, and we're going to go throw rocks, stones, and any other random objects that we just so "happen" to find around the Witter home--at the Witter home. That is until father or mother Witter finally show their faces."

"Jen..."

"Then one of us--well you, are going to run over to Pacey's window and bail him out of the house of doom. I mean, I haven't thought it all the way through, but so far...that's all I got."She says anxiously folding her arms, with a pout. Sadly, she seems more than serious.

"Something tells me that's not going work...exactly."I say squinting as the sun burns brighter than before.

"Well we have to do something, I mean they can't just keep him there."She says absently.

"Maybe we could..." I say searching for answers.

"What?"She asks suddenly looking at me.

"Why don't you guys just go talk to Doug? I saw him down at the laundramat a little earlier." Bessie unexpectedly chimes in.

Jen just looks at me and smiles.

"Thank you." I say looking at her, I'm sure confusion prevelent in my expression.

"You're welcome." She says smiling, "You could use the break." She says with a wink, then closes the door.

"Did you two just have a moment?" Jen asks with a chuckle.

"Shut up." I say walking off.

Jen finds comfort on the bench that sits not far from the laundermat, as I scan around to see if I can spot Doug. Looking from my left to my right, I can't help but get exasperated as he appears to be nowhere in sight.

"Joey?"He asks tapping me on my shoulder.

"Huh?" I ask twirling around. "Doug." I say smiling.

"That was quick."Jen says sitting up.

"What are you girls doing around these parts?"He asks mildly charming.

"What's with the third degree, I mean I know you're a cop but..."Jen says baiting him in a familar fashion.

"Well, I was just curious." He says looking from her to me, then back to her. "Been hanging around Pacey--"He begins sardonically, then immediately catches his words.

"Where is Pacey?" I ask noticing the sudden change in his disposition.

"He'll be back, he's spending time with some realtives."He says looking away.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well is he getting help?"Jen asks.

"Help?"He asks.

"For his depression." I answer.

"Well, my father took him to a psychiatrist, and...well you two should get along with whatever you were doing."

"Well...when is he coming back?"I ask quietly.

"Soon."He says. "You'll be the first to know."He says with clarity, catching me off guard.

We exchange looks, as it becomes slightly more clear to me what the look might have been for. Did Pacey talk to him about us?

"Alright!" She exclaims nudging me. "We should be going."

"Right." I say pulling my hair behind me ear.

"Thanks for the coperation." She jokes, motioning for us to go.

"Anytime." He says nodding, then walking away.

"Relatives?"Jen questions sadly.

Drifting off, I just dig my hands deeper within my pockets. "Soon" He said. How soon? I wonder within the confines of my own thoughts.

"Joey?"She asks.

"Huh?"I ask shaking my head.

"You okay?"

No.

"Yeah." I say detached.

"Icecream?" She asks ironically pointing to an icecream stand.

"Yeah." I answer.

"See, you're not okay."

"Relatives?"I ask.

"Yep."She says downbeat.

"Do you think they put him on meds?"

"If I had to guess..."

Her words only make my heart sink further. I've got to talk to him.

It's been awhile since I've updated, and yep this is fairly short, my apologies. It's been a hell of a month...but I digress:D Anyhow, the next update will be sooner, I'm sure, so sit tight wonderful people:D 'Till then...tbc a.s.a.p

p.s thanks for reviewing me:D I appreciate it somethin' fierce.


	16. When Will I See You Again

**When Will I see You Again**

I remember the first time I heard someone's cautionary refererence to time as if it were a third person. Passivness, was without a doubt the emotion slithering beneath the words, but they still remain heavily effective. Though unlike it's depressing latter, time is in fact a trick of the mind. I believe the saying was, and is: "Time is not your friend."A slowly unraveling truth, as the days continue to pass unmercifully. Waves of frustration devistate my thoughts, as I wallow through yet another day with little to no understanding, or knowledge of where he is. Could he be thinking of me? At least as much as I think of him. Hopefully, I'll find out today.

Fall has ended, and winter has happily taken it's place. Somehow, the seasons simple, and traditional act of changing has stirred up the more sorrowful feelings of loss, and mostly well-masked pain that's hidden behind a choice of forced smiles. The happy gesture has become a task, and a strain. Now that myself, and the people of Capeside have found ourselves in a fairly freezing December, a conveyer belt of cliche's has already surfaced. The not too heavily clad Capesidians fall wear consisted of light, black or brown coats, with somewhat tacky over-sized scarves. The winter brought on heavier black or brown coats, with not-so-tacky over-sized scarves.

Everyone ventured deep within their garage to find their shovels, and snowblowers, to prepare for the inevitable snow that will likely fall from the sky in inches. Admittedly, there's an easiness in the air, and things do seem more upbeat. But the season exchange is a tough transition, as it seems to signal the end of something. Something...special. The last months have be been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster, but as his presence slowly slips from me, sadly I find it's easier to function. The B&B hasn't been as busy as of late, but new and old faces still continue to come and go with a frequency. Christmas will be here soon, and I can't quite believe it's already here.

Which takes me back to where I started. Time hasn't been a friend, but it hasn't been a complete bitch either. While it's made life sometimes unpredicable and tragic, more questions rise, with still no answers. As of recently I do feel a little more at ease as the new year approaches. Not to mention Doug has hinted that Pacey "Might" be back for Christmas. A sweet advantage of the holidays roaming near, though there was still no sign of him around Thanksgiving. There's still a depressing cloud that refuses to part as I remember how autumn began so strangly exciting, blurring the view of my world, making it more and more...See, I opened my heart for the first time, in a long time, and much to my hearts content--he did the same.

It's been a full week since I've thought of him so frequently, but my mind will probably continue this pattern, since Christmas is only four days away. There's also one final letter I've written, and hope to get to him through Doug. I'm Hoping I can get Bessie to drive me over to the Witter house. I can feel a quiet calm, and relief over me, as the heavy words translate from my mind, to the page, and the bold pen is finally released from my grasp. Folding the letter, I tidily slide it into the small envelope, and with a thin layer of saliva at the tip of my thumb, I slide it across the seal, and press down.

"Joey?" She calls from somewhere other than my room. I choose not to answer. It's the small joys in life that keep you going.

"Coming."I say unintentionally low.

"What?" She asks.

"I'll be..."I begin irratated. "Coming!" I shout.

Walking into the living room, I can't help but notice the tall gentlemen in the doorway at first glance.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Doug came by to talk to you about a "private matter." She says simply, laundry basket in hand.

"Hey..."I say short of words. We've been in casual contact over the past months, but he's come with no updates, and remains very vague on information regarding Pacey.

"Hey." He replies, then looks over at Bessie.

"I have to finish washing Alexander's clothes anyway."She says after a disgruntled sigh.

Bessie walks beside me and whispers "Let me know what he says about Pacey." A lightness, and curious exitement in her tone is immediately infectious, as my heart skips two beats at the sound of his name. She leaves the room completely, as I focus my attention on him.

"So, what is it?" I ask gradually with a shaky sigh.

"I just came by to tell you that um--" He says shaking his head."Pacey's coming back."

"What?" I ask, a smile yanking the corners of my mouth anxiously.

"For Christmas. He's coming back."

"Just for Christmas?" I ask, my exitement subsiding.

"I'm not sure." He says finding the floor boards interesting.

"Well...Can I...I mean, can we--?"

"See him?

"Yeah."I say nodding.

"I'm not too sure about that, I mean--I don't exactly think my father's going to be allowing visitors."

"Oh..." I say barely veiling the horrible dissapointment I feel, as his words seep in.

"But if you have any messages or anything.."He says sympatetically.

"Actually...I um, I have this letter." I say, hesitantly handing it to him.

"I'll be sure to get it to him."

"Thanks." I say absent, my eyes are beginning to sting little. Much to my surprise, I can feel tears welling up. I truly do want to see him badly.

"I should get going." He says walking over to the doorway.

"Um...Yeah, thanks for coming by."I say following him slowly, preparing to avoid his eyes if he looks at me again.

"You're welcome," He says looking at me, as I look the other way. "Take care alright." He says thoughtfully, then walks out.

Suddenly...

"Doug!" I shout after him a little louder than I would've liked.

"Yeah?" He asks lifting his head up, and turning around.

"Well, are you picking him up? You know, from the "relatives" house?"

"Yes."He says suspiciously.

"Could you take me with you?"

"Take you where?" Dawson asks approaching, Jen by his side.

"Nowhere." I say instictively, avoiding any and all potential questionings. But I remain internally unaware of why my answer was so vague. Do I really _have_ to hide the fact that I want to see him? Especially since everyone is just as anxious as I am to talk to him.

His expression is a mixture of confusion and suspicion, as is Jen's.

"Okay."He says looking at me strangely.

"And where is the eldest Witter headed off to?"Jen asks.

"If you must know..."He begins lightheartedly. "I've gotta get home, and change out of my uniform."

"Captivating stuff."She replies with a smirk.

"Is Pacey gonna be here in time for Christmas?"Dawson asks.

"Yes, actually that's where I'm headed after I get back and change."

All of us smile like giddy children.

"I didn't know you were picking him up today."I say, my eyes narrowing. "That's great..."I say cheerfully smiling ear to ear. But nervousness begins to mount as humiliation builds and Jen looks at me cautiously, while Dawson eyes me with yet another mount of curiosity.

"Excited much?"He asks much to my annoyance.

"Well..."I say shrugging, not really planning to dignify him with an answer.

"We're all excited." Jen says purely, seeming to be in my defense.

I just nod in agreement.

"What she said."

"Right. So what time are you guys getting back?"He asks looking over at Doug.

"Probably somewhere around six or seven."He answers.

"Great." He says upbeat. "He'll be back in time for the Leery's own private home screening of 'Gaslight'."

"Gaslight?" Jen asks.

"Ingrid Bergman at her best."He replies looking over at me. "So, are you skipping out on another movie night?"

"Depends." I say avoiding his glare.

"On..."

"It was nice catching up with you guys, but I'd better be going." Doug says cutting in sardonically.

"See ya." Dawson and Jen say almost in unison.

My heart drops.

"Wait..." I say walking down the steps, hoping I'm not too obvious.

"Yes?" He asks sternly, turning around.

I can feel Dawson's glare practically burning holes into my back.

'Can I go?' I mouth desperately.

"What?" He whispers.

"Nevermind." I say quietly, my hands sinking into my pockets. My eyes again become a watery grave, as I just turn and walk away.

"Are you alright Jo?"She asks, as I pass them both.

"Yeah." I say sniffling a little, as the cold air pricks against my skin. It suddenly feels more sensitive. "I kind of...I kind of just wanted to go. That's all." I add, my voice slightly raspy.

I glance over at Doug's police car as he drives off, making me feel worse.

"Me too."She says comforting me, then looking at Dawson. "I mean it's been months."

"Well, we're gonna see him when he gets here."He says absently, seeming almost worried.

"That's true. Hey, as long as we get to see him right?"She says reasurringly. "And _before_ Christmas."

"I wouldn't be too quick to throw a welcome home party just yet."I answer dryly, sitting on the porch.

"Care to emphasize?"Dawson asks true to form.

"Doug's not too sure if that's gonna be a possibility." I reply, resting my head on my hand.

"Yeah, that's not gonna be an issue." Jen says with a small laugh. "As long as he's back home, they'll be some kind of way to get to him. Even if we have to use Doug to do so."

Both me and Dawson throw her a confused glance.

"Just...Going through scenerios."She says looking suspicious, then sitting down.

"Jen has a point. It's not impossible...Especially if he's staying at home" Dawson says leaning on one of the house posts.

"We'll see him." She says, perhaps not feeling as lost as I.

"Yeah..."I say drifting off, as a single tear finally falls.

Told ya I'd be back sooner lol. Thanks you guys for reviewing:D There's more to come as the story nears an end:( so sit tight nice people, and TBC a.s.a.p


	17. Only When You Say Goodbye

**Only When You Say Goodbye**

His eyes seemed hell bent on mine, as his hand reached out from the car to take mine. I was determined to be happy, as was he. It seemed so simple. Just get in the car, and all of our problems would once again go away. Only this time there were no problems, at least none so serious as before. There was a pure happiness I felt as I studied the car before accepting his hand. This time, we wouldn't be escaping. We would only be simply leaving, We were coming back this time, and since it was Christmas break it only seemed natural to do something fun, and worthwhile. I'm sure when we go people will be wondering why we left again. I'll just tell them the truth. Whatever that is.

**24 hours ago.**

The chill and absolute tautness I feel in my fingers as the wind grows ice cold, is a sure indication that I should get up. In theory, standing up after more than an hour of sitting on my ass could be an easy task, though I find…it's not. Little by little I build enough strength to stand on two feet, as they tingle from there trip into slumber land. Giving myself a bear hug, I look forward at the long and heavily snow covered road. How much longer do I have stand here until they come back, I edgily wonder. Dawson and Jen left over a half hour ago, so here I stand…alone. I figured it wouldn't be long before the isolation sentiment kicked in, but the silence and dead air come of no aid.

The increasing darkness of the clouds that come to a standstill, casts a shadow over the frosty landscape. No cars can or has been seen for a while I begin to notice, as I once again walk up the empty street. Seeing no one in sight, my feet lead me back to the Witter driveway as the wind picks up again. A thousand chills goes down my spine as I can't remember it ever being so cold. What a coincidence. It's as if I'm in a movie in the middle of a Russian countryside left alone after all my friends and revolutionaries ran and found an ill-fated home in their near off graves. The only thing missing is random gunfire, overly gruesome death scenes, and my much needed gloves. Recently, there's been too much tv in my life.

"Hello, Joey." A calm voice declares.

"Hello." I say before even turning around. The polite response comes natural since it is as I presumed, an adult. A mother to be more specific.

"How are you?" She asks sweeping snow from her hands.

"Fine…You?" I ask feeling my face muscles tense, as I force a smile.

"I'm doing alright." She says almost ambiguously, looking at her watch. "What could be taking them so long?"

Her tone couldn't be more obvious. She had to know that I was against Pacey being sent away, and put on medication…Her nature seems a mixture of apprehensiveness, and condescension.

"So you're the one who helped him bust out of here aren't you?" She asks, with a small and all be it strange dose of syrup.

"Not…exactly." I say narrowing my eyes to the cold wind…and her. Why would she think that?

"It's fine, I understand all you kids trying to be there for one another, and help each other out." She says coming closer. "But Pacey needed help that I don't think you or anybody could supply him with other than a good doctor." She finishes with a jovial nod.

"You think so?" I ask more confrontational, my eyebrow arching as I look her in the eyes.

"Yes I do." She replies wryly.

"Well then…I guess there's really nothing me or my friends can do now is there…?" I say my voice dripping with irony and defeat.

I do feel the need to let it go. I have plenty of choice words for her and Mr. Witter, but it wouldn't do any good. There's a sudden wave of clarity I feel, thanks the fact that he's coming home. Hopefully sober.

"So…Joanie are you going to be waiting out here until they come back?"

"That's Joey…"

"Oh, of course it is." Mrs. Witter says with a small laugh. "I'm sorry sweetie, I don't know where my mind is today…"She concludes unconvincingly.

"Right." I say under my breath.

I prepare to take a long walk back to my house to pick up some gloves for my almost immobile hands, when the Witter truck approaches. My eyes dart to the passenger side, to see if I spot him…and there he is. The natural reaction is to smile, but when my lips heed the call they hesitate. His eyes seem empty, as he doesn't even bat a lash. I move out of the way, so they can fully pull in.

"We're back." Doug says, getting out of the car. "Come on Pacey."

Pacey rolls his eyes as he steps out of the car, clearly disconcerted.

"Pacey!" I call out, helpless to my own excitement.

His eyes so full of detachment shift almost instantly. To my enjoyment, a big smile dances across his face as he walks over to me and gives me a hug.

"Jo." He says quietly, his hand stroking my hair.

"You're back." I whisper happily putting my forehead to his.

"And I'm not goin' anywhere, anytime soon Potter. You can hold me to that." He says his lips brushing mine.

"Good." I say with a shiver, though his embrace supplied some much needed warmth.

"You're freezing." He says looking over me, and pulling me closer. "Let's get you inside."

"Okay." I whisper starting to walk.

There was an underlying message to his statement before. When he said he wasn't going anywhere…it was as if it was a melancholy declaration of whatever he was feeling for me--but inside, I know better.

He greets his mom with a lengthy hug, as she pinches his cheeks.

"I'm glad to have you back Pacey." She says brushing his hair with her fingers, then dramatically turning away. "Your father's inside watching the television."

"Oh, goodie." He says sardonically, taking my hand as we head inside the house.

"I'll just get your bags." Doug says annoyed.

"Thanks, man." Pacey says aware of his brothers displeasure.

"Well, well…"John Witter says sitting up in his recliner.

"Dad." Pacey says unaffected.

"Well don't just stand there, get over here." He says frivolously, holding out his arms.

Pacey throws him an odd look, before walking over to the belittling man.

"Good to see you, boy." He says giving him a quick pat hug.

"You too." He responds mechanically.

"Well, your sisters say they want to come up here to see you." He says sitting back down.

"Oh, yeah?" He asks, barely seeming to pay attention.

"Yeah." John says looking up at his barely there son. "They say uh--they say they miss you and they hope you're doing alright."

"Isn't life grand." Pacey replies with his traditional charm. "No, that's good. It's good to hear from them for a change."

"Yes it is." The old man says shaking his head contently.

"Here's your bags Pace." Doug says dropping them on the floor.

"Gee, thanks." He says with a smirk, then glances at me. "Dad, you're not gonna say hi to Joey?"

"Hi." He says with a brief wave.

For a moment there was no dysfunction, or awkward silences. Everyone seems genuinely pleased to see one another.

"Hi." I reply feeling at ease.

"I'm turning on the new heater, Ill be right back." Mrs. Witter says quickly leaving the living room.

"Joey…"He says catching my attention. "You're want to help me unpack?"

"Um--Sure." I say shrugging.

"Come on." He says grabbing one of the bags, then taking my hand and leading me up stairs.

"Where'd they go?" I can here Mrs. Witter ask from downstairs as we enter his room.

"Well this is a rarity." I say implying I haven't been in his room often.

"It surely is Ms. Potter." He says wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What if someone comes in…?" I protest, much to his enjoyment.

"That's not gonna happen." He says walking over to the door and kicking it closed, then running back over to me tossing me on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask laughing, my voice slightly hoarse.

"Well what does it look like?" He asks faking seriousness…at least I hope.

" Why mister Witter, are you trying to seduce me…on your first day back?" I ask in the worst Graduate imitation known to man.

"What's it to you?" He asks in a whisper, bringing his mouth to my forehead then my lips.

"Do you always make out with the help?" I ask humorlessly. "Because if you do…" I try to finish, but his kiss deepens as my eyes shut tight and my back gives way to the mattress. He smiles.

"Still worried?" He asks clearing his throat.

"Shut up." I say hesitantly pulling him over me. I watch as he grows nervous of my intensions.

With the keys in my hand, I run my fingers through his hair, before kissing him again. My emotions grow fanatical, as I suddenly want to kiss every inch of him.

"We should…"He begins heroically.

"Slow down?" I ask with mixed feelings.

"Perhaps." He says slowly rising.

"Pacey." A voice calls from outside the door.

"Who is it?" He asks quickly, seeming to be more anxious to avoid the awkwardness of the situation than I.

"Madonna--who do you think it is?" The voice asks aggravated, revealing itself to be Doug.

"Coming , Dear." He says giving me a reassuring smile, as he opens the door. "You never fail to hide your questionable masculinity do ya Dougie?"

"Ha…Ha." He responds pushing the door further open. "Listen, dad wants to talk to you--Now."

"Why?"

"Do I look like his personal messenger?"

"Yes."

"I am so incredibly glad you're back to normal Pacey, I mean I was beginning to miss that sense of humor of yours."

"Me too Dougie. Me too."

"What were you guys doing up here anyway?" He asks raising brow.

"Nothing." I say glaring at Pacey.

"For now." He says looking at me intently.

"That's peachy. You might want to get downstairs around now." He says giving him a knowing glance, then leaving.

"Right." He says rubbing his hands together.

"Pace…" I say before he leaves the room.

"Yes, Miss Potter?" He asks warmly.

"Are we going to talk about…you know?"

"No I don't know." He says looking at me strangely.

"Did they put you on medication?" I ask hastily.

His smile fades, as he looks down at the floor then back to me. He again clears his throat.

"Yeah…Yeah, they did." He says nodding.

"Are you still on…?

"No--I mean not anymore. I just got off 'em maybe a week ago."

"Pacey!" John Witter Shouts from the bottom floor.

"I'm glad you brought that up, because that actually brings me to one of the reasons I want to talk to you…I mean besides the heartfelt letters." He says holding his hand up to his heart.

I mentally fight the smile I feel coming on.

"And…you were okay with that…being on meds?" I ask knowing the answer.

"_Well_--"

"So everything is alright with you now?" I ask warily. "I mean you're feeling okay?"

"Well…almost.. I just have to take care of one more thing." He says leisurely.

"And that is…?"

"In a minute everything's gonna become a little bit more clear." He says walking out.

What is he doing?

"Yes?" He asks approaching the recliner.

"Your mother wants you." He says replacing the batteries in the remote.

"Oh…"Pacey says ironically with a sigh, then walks into the kitchen. "Yes?" He asks the seemingly nervous woman.

"What are these?" She asks holding up a brown envelope, then taking out two sheets of paper.

"These…Right." He says with a heavy sigh. "These are um…these are child emancipation papers."

"What?" She asks crossly.

"There what?" I ask quietly hoping he heard.

"John." She says hurriedly walking into the living room. "Look what are son has given us for Christmas."

"What the hell's that?" He asks sitting up.

"It's a petition." He says quietly. "I want a divorce."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

lol, this is horrible way to end this chap but I'll be back with an update sooner I swear! This one was another set up for yes children, the pre-finale chap, so sit tight and I'll be right back:D

And of course, thank ya for the reviews guys! Always, always, makes my days:)


	18. Deadman Walking

**Deadman Walking**

I watch him closely, as his expression and body language alters tragically. All of the brash courage, and warranted contempt that possessed him in a moment, slowly disintegrates. His eyes drop as he lets out a gravely sigh. What was a serious announcement, became a foundation for a hell storm that is without doubt inevitable. While taking two steps back, he observes his silent, and bewildered parents, only to fold his arms and regain his tough exterior. Even with his fathers intimidating glare, and his mothers tear filled eyes, it becomes obvious that though he feels pained by her anguish, he's not backing down.

"What are you doing Pacey?" Doug asks calmly, and walking forward.

"Don't--" Pacey begins aggravated. "Just…stay out of this okay?"

"Why are you doing this?" Mrs. Witter asks exasperated. "Do you really believe, that at seventeen, you're going to be able to make it out there on your own?"

" Well, I hadn't really though of it that way." He responds with a frustrated nod. "Listen, this isn't about you! Well you know come to think about it…" He taunts turning away.

"Oh, don't even try to turn this on us, you're the one with all the damn problems!" Mr. Witter says angrily.

"No you're the problem!" He shouts startling everyone in the room, including himself. The pain in his voice was apparent, as even Doug's expression grew mildly sympathetic. "Can't you see that?" He finishes in a whisper, as his breathing grows heavier, and he tries with ever ounce of his being to push back tears.

"Well, you know what Pacey?" Mr. Witter says harshly. "If you want to leave--go! Right now, get your things and get the hell out of here."

"John…."

"No, I'm just tryin' to save him some time." He says folding his arms. "The court hearing and whatnot…"

"Pacey, whatever's is wrong with you we could help you." His mother assures idealy.

"Oh, you mean like you helped me before?"

"What are you talking about?" She asks frustrated.

"Where's your lawyer?" John asks teasing.

"Shut up."

"What? What was that?" Mr. Witter asks coming closer.

"I said…shut up."

"And what if I don't?"

"Leave him alone John." Mrs. Witter says quietly.

"No I want to see what he can do." He says meeting him face to face. "Come on big shot…"

"Big shot?"

"Yeah, you all of a sudden think you're too good for this family after going to live with those-- fancy relatives and all that." He says chin up, looking Pacey up and down.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You know what…" He says with a dry laugh.

"I want you to listen--and listen close boy." Mr. Witter says quietly. "If you're gonna leave--do it. But I'll be goddamned if I go to court over you."

"How exactly does one…divorce their parents?" Doug asks curiously while slightly easing the tension.

"I'll see you in court." Pacey says hoarsley, and shoving past the intimidating figure as if he were paper thin.

"Pacey please…don't do this." Mrs. Witter implores.

"Mom--" He replies sorrowfully over his shoulder.

"Where's your lawyer?" The man interrupts raucously.

"I don't have to have a lawyer." He says still irritated, turning around after a two step progression up the stairs. "Let's just say I'm representing myself."

"Where's your evidence?" He asks folding his arms again.

"What--? What are you talking about?"

"Well now, there has to be _some _sort of evidence to convince the judge that you should be emancipated."

"So…"

"So, what are you gonna say? What have we done to you that is so bad, that you need a divorce? I mean besides putting a roof over your head, feeding, clothing, and feeding that big mouth of yours?"

"What world do you come from? Honestly?" Pacey questions in disbelief. "If your feeding, clothing, and quote 'feeding my big mouth' was actually _apart_ of the issue, I would actually try to dignify that with a response."

"You just did." He says as if he's won the lottery.

"I'm sorry what?"

"You just did." He says walking over to him, his shoes thumping against the floorboards. "The factor of the matter is this, and only this. The law isn't gonna allow some snot nosed kid, to be legally emancipated without the parents consent, and or evidence of abuse…have your mother and I _abused_ you without our knowledge?"

Pacey's focus is shattered, as he contemplates his fathers words.

"Enough!" Mrs. Witter shouts, as everyone's attention goes on her. "I've had enough dysfunction for one evening." She concludes uneasily, going to the kitchen.

"It's alright honey….he's not going anywhere." John Witter says somberly, as if it was to be the last word. "And that' all there is too it."

"Yeah, well we'll talk about this more later. Until then, dinners in forty minutes." She says fully leaving the room.

My attention drifts from her to Pacey, who's eyes are dead set on his humorless father, with his arms locked, lips squared, and a glare burning with such anger and despair that it unsettles even his deeply loathed adversary. Doug quickly steps in.

"Come on Pace, let's go for a walk…"He says surprisingly stepping in front of John Witter, not giving the man so much as an icy glare.

"Funny…"Pacey begins with the long suppressed tears stirring beneath his beautiful yet melancholy gaze. "I thought you wanted me gone." He concludes solemnly, as Mr. Witter's demeanor changes.

"Maybe you two should take a walk." He says gradually, then walking over to his recliner. "Maybe you could use some fresh air…"

"I'm sure that's all he needs." I say wryly, then finding my way over to Pacey and Doug.

"I was wondering when the second musketeer would be joining in." He says condescendingly, pissing me off beyond words. I suppose hitting him would cause some sort of commotion, but hey…It's be worth it.

"Will you be joining us Joey?" Doug asks knowingly.

"Yeah." I say with a sigh, throwing Mr. Witter a much ignored death stare. "Can we hurry…I heard evil is contagious."

My last words are a only whisper, since part of me remains that scared little girl who wonders what made the cold man so…cold. As we walk out the door Pacey's expression becomes upbeat.

"Like I said before--I'll see you in court." He says slamming the door. "Adios."

"Is what he said true?" I ask hugging myself, as the frozen wind hits my skin.

"Um, Dougie…?" He asks raising my irritation as he ignores my question.

"Who knows." Doug answers me, then turning his attention to Pacey. "What?" He asks sardonically.

"Can we make a stop on our little power walk?"

"Whatever you want little brother." He replies dryly with a sigh.

"Do you really want to be emancipated?" I ask trying to re-tread the subject matter, though I understand his measures.

"I just want to be considered a legal adult so I can go on with my _life_." He says distraughtly looking at me then ahead at the drive.

"Alright rebel without a cause….let's go." Doug says patting him on the shoulder then walking ahead.

"Yes, please." I say with a shiver, taking his hand.

"Let's." He says leaning on my shoulder as we head away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The sky becomes as dark as night, as we silently tread the slippery roads. He suppresses yet another laugh as I continue to have trouble finding my footing. Minutes ago I almost slipped twice, much to his and Doug's amusement, and of course my annoyance. Turning on yet another street I can't help but want to ask who's bright idea it was to walk when it's below ten outside.

"I love walking in the freezing cold how about you Jo?"

"It's been a wonderful experience thus far."

"Alright, alright. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to walk, but hey at least we've gotten the chance to spend some quality time together."

"I always said you two would get along great." Pacey says ironically.

"I meant you an me smartass--"

"Yeah I know what you meant." He replies, his sentence falling on Doug's. "And it's you and I."

"Good to know you've been paying attention in school."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"I thought it was another brilliant addition the your acerbic repartee." I say with pleasure.

"That--" He begins. "And, I was just trying to bring to your attention that you're going to have to stay in…and finish school. I mean, that's just one of the many things you have to be doing for yourself, if you want any judge in the court room to believe that you can make it on your own."

"I'm not a complete imbecile man, you think I don't know that." He says peacefully, stopping in his tracks.

"And do you still have that job at the video store, because--"

"Doug!" He exclaims, his voice echoing to darkened sky.

A dead silence falls between them.

"Guys…" I say trying to gain their attention. "I'm freezing my fingers off over here."

"My mouth drops." Pacey says backing away. "You want me to stay…"

"Nope. I could care less what you do with your life--after all it's up to you to choose to ruin or not ruin It. Whichever comes first for you." He says folding his arms. "Unless you're bluffing….trying to freak 'em out you know."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do." Pacey says with a heavy sigh. "Come here you." He says wrapping his arms around me.

"Much better." I say quietly, snuggling up in his coat.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll just be throwing up in a near off distance."

"This is so her body doesn't get so cold she develops a sudden case of narcolepsy, idiot."

"Right."

"You okay?" He asks me, as if I wouldn't be within his grasp.

"Yes." I whisper snuggling closer, as we begin to walk again.

"Still…get a room." He says with humorous beat in his voice.

Pacey just looks at me.

"Josephine?" He asks with a wink.

"Shut up." I say nudging him.

"Yeah we've already been there Dougie."

"Silence." I say narrowing my eyes.

"The Missus doesn't like me talking about our liaisons if you know what I mean." He says elbowing Doug.

"Please don't touch me."

"We're at Jen's." I say intentionally, walking up to the beautifully decorated house. "Who do you think decorated this?" I ask gleefully.

"Grams probably got Dawson or his dad to do it." Pacey says simply. "Speaking of the Leery's, don't you think we should hit up their place first?"

"No." I say numb.

"No?" He asks.

"No." I say trying to make him understand with a simple expression of devastating fear.

"Oh…"He says looking at me strangely, as his response seems quicker than his actual understanding of what I was implying. "Oh." He says finally with a light chuckle.

"Um, if we can enter some sort of heated environment soon…that would be just peachy." Doug says rubbing his hands together. "I mean unless it matters…does it?" He asks looking directly at Pacey.

"What do you think?" He responds in distress, suddenly seeming apprehensive to meet my eyes. "Just…knock."

Then…

"Pacey!" Jen exclaims the door swinging open.

"My goodness." He says grabbing her, and giving her a prolonged hug much to my discomfort.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're back!" She says chuckling and backing away a little. "Let me look at you."

"I'm only _slightly_ above average." He says with a smug smile.

"Of course you are." Jen says sweeping a bit of snow off his coat. "How come you didn't tell me he was back?"

"Me?" I ask the confused blonde.

"Yes, you." She says with a laugh, and awkward smile.

"Well, I just got back." He says raising a brow.

"It's…a long story." I say looking inside the warm house. "Could we…?"

"Oh, yeah." She says shrugging. "Go on in."

"Thank god." Dougs says hurrying inside.

"What he said." Pacey says following, then turning around. "Again…are you okay?"

"Yeah." I say absently, with a nod and semi-smile. "Let's just…go inside."

"Okay." He says taking my hand.

"Oh…" Jen coos happily.

"Shut up."

ooooooooooo

Alright so the chapter didn't go exactly as I'd planned, since my computer crashed and I ended up losing the orginal chap and all that jazz. So, this is kind of the first half of the pre-finale chapter and hopefully( if I don't have so many problems with my sucky computer) I can come back with an update. Now that we're caught up:D Thanks for reading and reviewing especially the last chap you guys are awesome:D Literally made. my. week.

So this chap is truly TBC lol, be back a.s.a.p.


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